Identity Library

Veronika Becher 0:14
Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of identity library. My name is Veronica here and today.

Abdullah Najjar 0:20
Launch, again,

Veronika Becher 0:24
my favorite guest on my podcast. Yeah, feel special. And today it's actually like a special, really relaxed Show episode where we kind of, I always wanted to reflect on last year, and just I do this thing. It's called the end of the year questions that I started through pen polling. And it's this old lady that lived, I think, in Oklahoma, who suggested to do an email change across the world with people that love pen pulling. But instead of, oh, yo, sorry, my my voice was just gone for a second. Instead of, instead of, um, sending in a letter, actually sending an email, because you could, like, reach more people. Maybe I don't know, she just wanted a different exchange. And so she created this whole, like construct of 10, no, I think it's like 100 questions that you answer to reflect on your past year. Basically, I decided to modify it, and I did answer the questions, but I think a lot of the questions are really personal, so, like, so I came up with this mini, mini, uh, questionnaire that is only

made for podcasters nice.

And I think, yeah, that's why Abdullah is again here in the studio. And I think it's just something like, if you're sitting at home and you're feeling like, Oh, I know, but we are, like, already two months into this year, whatever. You can still do that, and you can still ask questions and reflect. I think reflection, especially towards your last past year, is really important. Like, I don't know if I can, like, stress enough about the ability of understanding, what did you learn? What did you go through last the year? And how much did you actually learn? It's, I think it changes a lot. Like your perspective on your experience as a whole. Like, if you had a lot of negative experiences, I think people would remember them the most and like, oh, I had a horrible year, but they forget about all these funny moments that you experienced last year. So yes, sorry, that was a long introduction, but we're getting into it that's useful. So we're starting with the beautiful icebreaker who didn't listen to this. You know, the other episode. I don't know when this is going to be dropped, but basically, how to start a conversation with a stranger which is going to dive into it and hope that Abdullah is not going to fall asleep like he did today in the library that I did and we're not even at finals week or something that was

Abdullah Najjar 3:20
surprising myself too. This man is like,

I'm an old man who goes to the gym to be youthful and then and then falls asleep

in the library. Let's not talk about your gym experiences, either.

Veronika Becher 3:36
My gym experience, my gym experience, was super productive at a full edition for three hours, I stretched, I ran, like, literally, what is it? Two miles, I I stretched again. I'm serious, they got a good experience. Productive.

Abdullah Najjar 3:53
It was productive. Yeah, I think, yeah, your experience was productive. I know I didn't

Veronika Becher 3:58
even remember the fact that the gym closes early, and I was like, literally 20 minutes in, and they were actually really closing everything down, but they didn't even think to check the, you know, changing rooms. And I was just like, getting out of my shower and everything. I'm like, Hmm, that's so quiet strange, right? So strange and odd, but yeah, oh my god,

Unknown Speaker 4:19
lecture of the last year. So,

Veronika Becher 4:22
so are you ready? Okay, let's start with, like, a broad question, what are some of the highlights from the past year? Let's start with, personally, give me the top three highlights. Gosh, and to be fair, we didn't prepare that. So,

Abdullah Najjar 4:43
I mean, even last conversation, we didn't prepare. I mean, we don't. Maybe we say, Okay, this is a theme we explore, but we don't prepare what we're

Veronika Becher 4:50
gonna Yeah, but I think questions end of the year questions might take a while too. So okay,

Abdullah Najjar 4:54
well, let me, let me ask you this first before I answer. How many do you have? Because our answer. Can go for long. Go ahead. Okay, don't think. No, we're not gonna think about it. So three, don't think. So you said three highlights, right? Yes, personally, oh gosh, okay, first one, a breakup. New Year's Eve,

Veronika Becher 5:20
you broke up last in your year, yeah, oh my gosh. I forgot about that. This is crazy. Your reaction is priceless, by the way. Oh my god to fear. Oh my gosh, such. That was such long and I just got into I was halfway through my relationship by the time you broke up. This is crazy.

Go ahead. Yeah, that happened. I love what's a highlight?

Abdullah Najjar 5:52
Can be anything you said, personal,

down light is that what we're looking for, high and down?

Veronika Becher 6:00
Okay? Okay, it's okay, continue. So highlight, number one, personally, we're talking about person like, personally,

Abdullah Najjar 6:07
yeah, it was, it was a very committed one, but it happened. Um, how long did it last? Is this for like, two years? Okay,

Veronika Becher 6:15
committed, continue.

Abdullah Najjar 6:19
Um, so that, yeah, that happened. And who second highlight would be? I personal, I think would I would say I lost a lot of weight.

Veronika Becher 6:37
Speaking of Jim, this is my dear friends, if you are wondering how this person is losing a lot of weight. He's currently sleeping and taking naps so he doesn't have to move after the gym session. First of all, he always leaves his gym bag in the studio campus. I'm running around with a huge bag. You know who it is? We don't even know. You don't even need to know who this person is. You just know it is just one person on this campus

Abdullah Najjar 7:06
sitting around in the gym bag every Yes, it

Veronika Becher 7:09
looks like he's like, like, literally

carrying a core, like, like, gorgeous. Yes,

this is how big it is, or a bag with so much money. Well,

maybe he's literally just, like, homeless, and he's just carrying his whole life

is to be fair, because he was actually living like on a couch. But I clean and I cook, I do everything honestly,

to be fair. If you ever feel like I'm gonna drop the in the link, like in the bio, his number. If you have any someone to couch surf, you can call him up and then be like, you know, hashtag, how to approach a stranger. You just call them couch serve. Like, hey. You want to ice breaker number one, you want to, you know, live on my couch for a day or two or more, and then he actually will make you x in the morning. It feels like you're a married couple, even though you're not even dating. It doesn't matter what gender. So it's open to anyone just saying disclaimer, he also, he also loves to switch between different apartments. So he switches to the same building that he doesn't even live in, between two different floors, up and down. And you know, this is like new, spice

things up

and and you know, you will never well. The only thing is you might need to provide him with some eggs in morning so he can actually cook them. So you need to have Yes, but he will make you tea and, and it's perfect. This is like, well, maybe here he will bore the water for you and, and you just, you will, like, have a some great company over. And he will, like, sleep on your couch, really, he doesn't snore. So that's a good thing. Of course, you don't you? Oh, my, you're not snoring. I haven't heard I'm

Abdullah Najjar 9:07
actually like that because now I can sleep like a ninja

Veronika Becher 9:12
on a pink couch that used to be pink. Okay? We're like, side tracking, yeah,

Abdullah Najjar 9:16
three highlights, right? Highlight.

This is a highlight that I won't mention

next year.

Highlights of the year. Couch Surfing is going to be

Veronika Becher 9:28
worn over them, unless you can top it. I don't know yet. That

Abdullah Najjar 9:30
took a turn. Okay, so, so honestly, no, I really, I realized a lot, and I remember I had a lot of remarks by many people like saying, um, man, you kind of look way leader than what I used to like, what I'm like, used to seeing you in, you know, is that a good thing? Okay? It was not, oh, you're gonna have to. We're gonna start something entirely different about this body. The

Veronika Becher 10:00
hour. I still need to drop it, because honestly, I'm not a big fan when people do that, that's like the worst thing. That's like, one of the things we should have mentioned in a different episode. We've meant and they talked about

Abdullah Najjar 10:09
things you should not say to a person, say to a person physical like physical appearance,

Veronika Becher 10:14
like weight specifically, oh my gosh, please don't do that. Yeah,

Abdullah Najjar 10:19
I didn't really that was not one of my best sort of, yeah, I didn't. I didn't. Well, it can

Veronika Becher 10:25
be nice. I think if you're trying to lose weight or you're trying to gain weight, it can be nice thing to hear confirmation. I think it's a bias towards yourself, because if people don't see it, you think nothing happened, right? So you kind of associate with your achievements don't equal a real achievement. If no one noticed that and points it out to you, and the moment people actually reverse to the opposite what you actually want to hear, you start questioning your body image. Bad, bad thing. But, yeah, no,

Abdullah Najjar 10:54
I really didn't like much of these, many of these remarks. I mean, yeah, it's obvious, yeah, I did, but I think there are many ways of trying to phrase that, or if you have to make a remark about it, like, you know, if it's necessary. So that happened, and I did, yeah, did lose a few pounds.

Veronika Becher 11:22
Congratulations, thank you. I'll buy you flowers and chocolate. Oh my goodness. See, we can, you know, do you know the amount of times? So the thing that I didn't mention about the couch surfing thing, and it's this whole thing of me feeding him German chocolate. I went back home over Christmas break, and I brought back some chocolate and cheese. No one heard me saying that, I hope I still can extend my visa. But basically, everyone was judging me at first last year when I returned with chocolate, they were like, why would you get the same brand of chocolate from Germany? Why you can buy it here? And I'm like, you don't stand it doesn't taste the same way. I swear it doesn't. So I'm feeding him chocolate. You're

Abdullah Najjar 12:05
trying to get me to gain weight.

Veronika Becher 12:09
People have, like, an obsession with people being like, a certain weight. Yes, I'm just feeding him like, no, of course not. Do you know how? How, how much it means to me to give you chocolate. That means you're, like, one of my closest people, because this is, like, the only chocolate package I have, like, at home right now. It's like, if it's gone, it's gone. Today, I ate my last slice of cheese, and it's also,

Abdullah Najjar 12:32
oh no, that last half, the one I sort of may have eaten the other

half. Pull Your Ex, potentially, yes, you show up to my apartment. You sleep in my couch, you eat my cheese, my German cheese. Oh, my God, okay.

Veronika Becher 12:51
Oh, but yeah, basically, yes. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, if you want to get rid of some good German chocolates, you could also invite him over. But it's this whole thing, like, oh, no, I shouldn't, you should see Abdullah. It's so endearing. It's endearing. I'm using this word. I love it. It's just like, Oh, I'm just gonna eat a piece of chocolate or, like, like, I even brought back, like, some lip cooking. What is ginger bread? And it's like, these small, mini ginger bread bites, and he's feeling that. He's like, okay, let's eat another one. And then I'm like, Do you want another one? And I give it to him, and, like, in the span of the next hour, while watching a movie with me, he's like, No, I should not accept another one. I think I'm too full. And he ate at three more, um, after I gave it to him, and he he rejected it, but then he like, came back to the package, and I was like, I could have eaten level three, because I think they're really good.

Abdullah Najjar 13:47
I postponed it now, aren't you? I put it on the wait list, yes, because your body is like, Oh, it doesn't count. You haven't eat any chocolate in the last 30 minutes, so it doesn't count. It's just an addition to your diet,

but that's

the thing I should really cut down. I eat chocolate every day. I think now it's becoming a bad habit. I don't think

Veronika Becher 14:07
it's a bad habit. People drink alcohol every single day, and it has more calories than your chocolate bar. Sometimes that

Abdullah Najjar 14:12
makes a lot of sense, but So,

speaking of alcohol,

Abdullah bat, okay, sorry, ma'am. So here's the deal. Let me break it down. Let me cook. So I think, I think that's one of my biggest ones. You know, this, this weight sort of loss, slash fluctuation. Because I think for the longest time I was a really even growing up, I was a pretty chubby kid. I was really chubby kid. And you know, I never had even my father was very critical of these, like. Most of my life, he was very critical and very verbal about this. So I think at this stage of my life, I think I am the leanest I've ever been, which is strange, very strange for me to say, but I've Yeah. I think this is yeah. So this is a highlight, I think of this year really

Veronika Becher 15:24
interesting. I feel like I'm in the middle. I'm not the heaviest I've been ever in my life, but I'm also not the lightest. It's something in between, and I think it's actually good and bad. It's like my conscious can work. Um, yes, I've been much thinner, but I'm in a space where I like eat regularly. The I eat enough, I eat not as unhealthy. I move enough. It doesn't feel like I'm in the extreme.

Abdullah Najjar 15:54
Yeah, it's a good balance, right? It's good balance.

Veronika Becher 15:58
But, yeah, third highlight.

Abdullah Najjar 16:02
Third highlight would starting a podcast count. I mean, it's not a professional thing. It's a personal

Veronika Becher 16:13
thing. Oh my gosh. Well, okay, fine, let's keep well, yeah,

Abdullah Najjar 16:17
that I would characterize, maybe it's third highlight of the year.

Veronika Becher 16:23
What's the name of the podcast? Let's go. Let's drop it's called in the East Wing. Exactly. You better check it out. It's a good one. Thank you. Actually Good one. Thank you.

Abdullah Najjar 16:34
I had a very, I think, really nice, nice conversations with a variety of interesting people and funny enough, my first episode, which was, I think, released in either, I think September, it was with a war journalist whose book, one of her books, I found In this second hand bookstore that's near our campus, just randomly, just found her book, and I've only found it like recently, like a couple of months ago, and I read it, and I really enjoyed it, and I reached out to her just right after I finished a book, and I told her how much I enjoyed reading it and how much I enjoyed our Conversation on the podcast. She was my first so I sent her that first guest. So I really, I really appreciated her, and she sent me a really nice reply and telling me that she's gonna now teach, which is something that she hasn't done for a while, or something that she's not used to doing, and it's sort of a new journey, new start, and it was nice to hear back from someone I haven't but I've had on a show, but having in contact with it, just to know how their lives are going right now.

Veronika Becher 17:54
Beautiful. Thank you. Actually, okay, since it's an exchange thing, and I even talk anyway, too much on my podcast episodes, my highlights, personal highlights. Do last year

Abdullah Najjar 18:12
you were like, prepared better than my questions.

Veronika Becher 18:15
My questions. Wait, what year are we? 2024

what year? Sorry, I was, like, counting

down, like, when did I move? But I moved before that, so it was a year before that. Did I move to the United States? Um, okay, I'm gonna copy you. Like, literally, I started my podcast, identity library.

Yes, I was gonna ask you to it's been

running. And I was also interviewed for the first time in my life, my little

span by you, oh my gosh, by you. This is what triggered my

um podcast to even, you know, get released. And I think it's one of the biggest, probably achievements for me, because it's just, I don't know something that I feel like I'm passionate about, and I get, yes, there are people that don't like it, but a lot of also positive reviews. And for some reason, my podcast is the definition of listening to it while being in a car. It's becoming like, actually a theme, um, and it's okay, it's gonna be the car podcast. And I truly enjoyed because I think the conversations, even with the reoccurring guests, I feel like there's so many conversations that have with people. I'm like, Oh, I would love to record that. This is something that it feels like a diary, almost to myself. It's not even about this sounds bad. It's not about the listener itself too. It's also about me keeping certain conversations and tracking them, for me to come back to them and actually listen to what did I say, and when I encountered the same issues that I address on my podcast, I can actually listen to myself. Name the same stories that I told someone, be like, Okay, so this is how I approach it. What else I got into a fellowship program?

Abdullah Najjar 20:10
Oh yes, codwell fellow. I love that. Oh yes,

Veronika Becher 20:13
by the way, a semi finals. And finals is like approaching or like running right now, really depends when this episode drops, but um, super excited, but super happy. I think that was a big thing, um, and, yeah, I think it shifted a lot in my life, because I end up meeting a complete new class with 30 people, and it's just the whole network and the dinners. And I got involved through that to volunteer at the so called neighbor to neighbor Community Center, and I planning the dinner seminars for each month. And I don't know, I feel like I've been doing a lot of things through that program, and I think it's just really beneficial, just to connect me closer to the community, and also, like, get something out of it as a leadership program for myself. Um, a different highlight.

Um,

hmm, I feel like they're like the obvious answer. And there's something that is not the obvious answer, probably the not obvious answer that I think I would like to actually share is I have this little plant in my room, and it's a desert rose, and I got it from my, um, from a professor at the horticulture Science Department, and I decided, actually last semester, to take up the minor in horticulture science, to add a minor that is completely off, like my educational field. And I know this feels like a professional thing, but no, it's not because she actually convinced me by giving me a random plan that looked super funny. It's literally thin stem, and there's not even one leaf on it. And my highlight is that last semester, oh my gosh, if I tell people that I actually plant breeders that and like the love plants, they would be really disappointed with me, because what I did, I poured my, um, my my tea into

the Wow. Wow.

And basically it was an herbal tea. Okay, to be fair, there was no sugar, no milk in it. And I'm not saying that that's something you should do, but I was just thinking, let's make an experiment. And apparently, I don't know my plant actually loved it, and now I have, like, I think, 10 different leaves on top, and I discovered what is kind of more this year that I have a vintage root coming out. So it's like a random, like leaf, like growing out of a place that it wouldn't usually grow. And it's like, literally, bottom, bottom, next to the soil. And it's like this huge plant that is probably, I don't know it's like, if you take the elbow to like your hand like this is how high my plant is at this point, I think, almost. And it's just like a huge it looks like a little mini palm tree. And I'm super excited. My mom, when she asked me about this plant, I get super excited. I just managed to keep this plant alive in my room, and also, just like all my plants that I have in my room, just highlight, highlight of the year, okay? Three highlights, personal highlight, personal, professional highlights. Oh, gosh, professional, did I mention three things you did? Yes, sorry, yeah, that was

me. Go ahead.

Abdullah Najjar 23:41
Oh, let's see professional highlights. Um, like academic also, gosh, that's an interesting one. Well, I, I'm gonna mention a course that I really, I think I really, really enjoyed taking that got me quite invested in even after I took the course in learning more about history. That was the history of the Atlantic slave trade, or slavery, slavery in the Americas. So I took that course because of my so I was up in Washington, DC for the summer. And if you've listened to other episodes that you and I have recorded, that Veronica and I recorded. You might have heard a couple of stories from perhaps my time there and Veronica's nice visits that you paid over the summer,

super spontaneous and

Veronika Becher 24:54
terrifying one side who's a really planned out person, and I just. Covered my spontaneous side of calling someone up two hours before the flight,

potentially coming over,

I was insane,

Abdullah Najjar 25:11
but so I was there for a while, and I lived in Fairfax, Virginia, and has a lot of history with with slavery, and you know, the the institution and the laws and all these things, Virginia is quite infamous for that. So I think my time there sort of pushed me toward a desire to want to take a course on history slavery. And sure enough, I did, and it was my favorite course last semester, and I wrote something really, really interesting as like a final paper that they called a historiography. And I've never written historiography for in my life. It was just my first time. I was really nervous, but I was really just well invested, really, really invested in it, and it was about the evangelical community's view on slavery in the US. And I received one of my best, I think, reviews on a paper where the professor literally said, like, you really know what you're talking about. And I remember I wasn't even aiming for, like an A. I was just I wrote it with no grade sort of expectation. I just really wrote it because I wanted to write it, and I was really invested in it, and I didn't receive an A on it and receive an A on the course. And sort of that kind of kept me on a track of really reading more about African history and history of the institution of slavery, both in the US and in Latin America. So I think that's, this is, you know, kind of a good highlight. Another highlight would be, I think my internship would be an interesting highlight, because it had me connect with a lot of interesting individuals in either in the corporation, a media corporation I worked for, or even outside of it. And it was, it was an experience with, obviously, with its ups and downs, wasn't the the perfect experience, but it was there. You know, there's a learning curve. And let's see third professional highlight

Veronika Becher 27:40
I could also, like, what you think I can add mine so waiting like you can, well,

Abdullah Najjar 27:45
I think I can just say that I, you know, attended a lot of nice, nice conferences over the fall. Those are really, really good. I got to meet people from you know, me. Backgrounds that sort of, I'm very interested in, like, you know, special operations guys, the beautiful military. And I remember in one of these conferences we had, like an open bar type of thing. And I remember I was looking at the menu, and I was like, I'm gonna go for the most expensive drink. And sure enough, I went for the most expensive one. And I really enjoyed that drink. And then I ended up getting a ride with a professor from our anthropology department. He gave me a ride from Chapel Hill to here, and I

Veronika Becher 28:43
remember the story, and just like, it's just like, Oh yeah, that was the story

Abdullah Najjar 28:47
that was really fun, and we sort of became good friends afterwards. So, yeah, it was nice.

Veronika Becher 28:56
I'm thinking. So for me, it's actually pretty simple. My GPA went up. I was fighting for my GPA. Um, so I think, like, just, I feel like I finally reaches point one, like picking up things really well in my degree, and actually understand concepts, and I can connect things better than I used to be, used to be, used to, used to, used to be crazy. It's all good. Getting a Counselor of the Year award to the so called Camp named satellite. I think that's a professional growth thing of being such a good counselor you are. Thank you. Also, my internship, I worked for an engineering company as like a switch up called Hitachi energy, and I think it was a great experience, because I've done, I was doing a lot of different things, and I think. Think the biggest highlight that actually I associated specifically with Hitachi energy was my random conversation with a customer that I end up having in a restaurant downtown. And my whole team was too busy to go to this after work event, and they just didn't end up going. And it was funny, because it was only our partners, kind of like she's the intermediate person between the customer and our company, but she works for our company and the customer itself. We were only three people that end up showing up. And it was such an interesting night, because for the first time our life, the reason why we connected was because we both liked philosophy, gosh, and we talked about philosophers for the next literature for the next three hours. I think we stayed super long in this restaurant, and it was one of the greatest experience I had because I realized for myself how much it's important to see people, even in the business world, as just people. Oh, 100% 100% I think what annoys me, sometimes it makes it difficult, is people only talking about their business. They talk only about what they're doing, their job, the position, how they got there, etc, etc, but I think I realized that I have to approach even professional settings with a sense of myself too, like I just I feel like a lot of times when I approach someone who is a professional in a certain like company that I'm interested in, I get actually super nervous, and the reason for that is that it feels like I can't be myself around them, because I can't get in my jokes, and I can't I need to be serious and I need to be sophisticated, and I have to be certain way to approach them. And I mentioned, you know, how we we always learn these elevator pitches and how we approach any of your CV and everything. And I just, I don't like it, because it just feels so unauthentic. It feels like I'm studying to approach a human being that I just want to have a conversation with, and I'm interested in the company, but it feels like such an dehumanizing experience where I like study almost forward to approach someone in a certain way, in I wanna, I don't know. I wanna know what the company is like, but all I ask is, legit. Okay, what is your company doing? Something you can google like, I actually, well, it is sometimes important. Sometimes you don't know the company, right? But I I realized, if I want to have a neutral, like a good connection with the person, it's not about all the technical aspects of an interview that you go through, but rather being yourself and open and actually bringing yourself to the table with your own jokes. And of course, you're not going to make I feel like Hitler is just too often in my episodes at this point, of course, you're not going to make a dark joke or an appropriate joke in front of a person like that. But it also means that doesn't mean that you can't make

Abdullah Najjar 33:20
a joke, something light hearted, something that can uplift the mood, honestly, yes.

Veronika Becher 33:24
And so I think that's that was the last like, probably highlight when it comes to professional life, experience and understanding that the end of the day, we're just human beings. And I feel like the most successful conversations I have with or had of any professional person was literally the ones where I was just myself and I make made some random remark, and then the person liked it actually. Okay. So how do you feel your podcast has grown or changed over the past 12 months?

Abdullah Najjar 34:00
Hasn't been 12 months, but let's see true. But you know, since it launched, maybe, I think is, you know, maybe, yeah, exception. How has it evolved or changed? Gosh, I think what I lesson I learned was, even though my approach from the get go was the start, was to allow for more, for my guests to talk more and reveal a lot of their stories, because obviously the demographic that I'm targeting, these people have so much to unpack, you know, and I think my desire from the beginning was to be outside of was to allow them to be the center. Attention, you know, speak to the to the I would just speak very little, you know, but over time, I realized that I should, I should talk to more and bring up more things from my from my experience, and to maybe not create the perfect balance, where my guests and I are speaking at the same rate, but to pitch in some more, I think it proven to be quite,

Veronika Becher 35:33
quite useful. That's so interesting, though, because I feel like that's what I criticize about my own podcast, that I bring too much of myself into it, that I'm interviewing someone, but I feel like I tell so many of my own stories, and I always looked at your partner. I was like, my Okay, so Abdullah is not saying so much. I should talk less. But I don't know. I feel like I realized over time that it's my podcast in the end of the day. Yes, I want to know the other person's perspective. And yes, there's certain things about it, but I think the way you react and what you contribute to the conversation makes the other person feel also more comfortable. Yeah,

Abdullah Najjar 36:16
but it's like, you know when to you. You know when to do it? When do I keep along? When I should I pursue this line of questioning? And when should I start mentioning something that is not actually a question? Like maybe I can give you an example for me in my last episode. And I'm sure you you understand this, because you're also a host, and you know these things already, but I remember when my guest talked about the the idea of loneliness and how some people desire, maybe attention or really, truly desire company. You mentioned a story of someone that he trained with, that not so many people wanted to be around, but he chose to be around that person and realized that that person was actually very lonely and really just just wanted company. And when my guest finished that story, I told him that, you know, I have a story that I can maybe share with you that sort of sheds light on a very similar theme that you just highlighted. And then I shared that story, and he liked that story. He really liked it. And then he started commenting on it, and he mentioned something else about it, about his opinion, obviously. But I think when you know, you know right, you know when to sort of maybe mention something that ties to what the person said, or you know when to continue along the line of asking these, these series of questions that you might not already have perhaps come up with, but spontaneously they start to emerge. And you really, you're, you know, you're curious to know what the person has to say about it. But it really is contextual, although I, you know, like I mentioned, I don't want an equal rate of speaking when, especially with my podcast, I wouldn't want my guests to speak 50% of the time, and I speak the other 50. I want to keep it sort of maybe 7030 or maybe 8020 and you know, that's just the way I see it. But maybe you have something to say about that.

Veronika Becher 38:39
No, that's something I'm working on, and I'm not really doing a great job, but it's okay. I think that's okay. Um, I think, well for me, well, I start my own podcast. I think what I see is a theme people that come back to my podcast, that are like, asking me, Hey, I would love to interview, get, like, another episode recorded, I realized I'm doing something similar that you've done with your previous podcast that you had under the UK NC, with like network effects. People recommend you to someone else, and then you continue walking this path, and it feels like I'm in these circles. But what I want to do, and maybe that's kind of tying down to what I want to do my next semester, is kind of getting out of these circles and also interviewing people that are not in my circles as much, um, just to kind of get new things in. But I think it's really difficult sometimes to find people too surprisingly, like, I think the challenge I face is just, you find people that you truly enjoy as people, but you would not interview them for anything, because I don't know what topic I would even bring up of them. Um, there's like, people that reach out to me and I'm like, oh. So I would love to, but actually, I wouldn't know what I would dress with you. And then other times I know someone, I'm like, oh, there's something I would love to discuss with you, because we talked about it, and that's why I approached them. I'm like, I would love to have an episode of you. And the challenge of probably like of scheduling things with people. I'm a spontaneous recorder, and it's really bad for a podcast business, because you need someone who, like people, want to be prepared, right? They want to know what they are doing and getting themselves into my issues, though, that I think a podcast, especially as being the moderator, takes a lot of energy in a strange, different way than being interviewed, because being interviewed, you also get exhausted by it, but I think being the moderator, you kind of in charge of the conversation, so you have to pay attention to everything completely, and you're the one leading. And I think I need a lot of energy to lead on a conversation for an hour and a half.

Abdullah Najjar 41:05
Oh, it definitely takes a lot of energy. No, I get it. Sometimes I notice myself when I'm done. I'm just extremely hungry. So

Veronika Becher 41:14
I'm hungry. Oh, my gosh,

who needs? Who needs the gym? That's the reason, by the way, why he actually lost weight. If you want to actually join the podcast episode, you can reach out to either of us. What's

Abdullah Najjar 41:30
the reason? You know, it's funny. I remember one time when I was hosting my before I even came to dancing State, I was hosting another podcast, and I got COVID. And my friend remarked and said, you know, you podcast, it's so hard that you got COVID. That's why she was super friendly. I remember, I still have an image. I was in on a wheelchair, and they took an image of me. I wasn't that wasn't the best image, but, yeah, friends, be friends. Okay, is this? The is this? What, where? What numbers on the list? Because our audience doesn't know it is there's no number. Okay. Audience doesn't know it's almost midnight, one

Veronika Becher 42:12
minute away. What

was the most valuable piece of feedback you received, and how did this shape your content?

I was a creative that's

Abdullah Najjar 42:28
so good. That's a good one.

Oh,

gosh, okay, I have two, two things to say, actually, about that. The first came from a guest I've had. I think it was my the title of the episode is Shadow wars and Black Ops. If anybody wants to check it out, they can. But my guest reached out to me after we finished the interview, and he said that he really enjoyed our conversation, and that my voice made the interrogation smooth, so He put air quotes on interrogation. So I was like, I really, really, that was a really, really nice compliment of his. And in that email, he sent me so many pictures from his background, and he explained he gave me he shared his stories behind every picture that he shared. And he was, you know, for context, he was a former paramilitary Operations Officer with the CIA. He's been all over the world, and he's done so many things. And so he was quite, I could truly feel that this person actually enjoyed this, by the way he wrote that email and the things he shared post production, obviously, or post the recording. So that was one and another. Another compliment I received was it came from our beloved Jamie, and she said, you know, you should probably read audio books, as, you know, as a bedtime stories, because she was like, you're really, like, good at making, I Guess, making the guest feel comfortable, in a way, to

Veronika Becher 44:42
Yeah, this is so sweet. Like, actually, it's really sweet. Um, I'm thinking, What is something that I got as available, like, feedback? Well,

Abdullah Najjar 44:54
let me tell you something. You told me that somebody said that I totally agree with about. Your your podcast. Okay, go ahead. Okay. I remember it was someone who told you that your episode, one of your episodes, it really felt like, when listening to it, it felt like we were in the room with you. You know, just because how, how genuine and just like, very, just very relaxing. And it just felt like you were there. You were present. You know what I mean? And I agree with that person, it really felt like true description, like it really felt like we were in the room with you guys as you were speaking.

Veronika Becher 45:37
This is crazy. I'm getting, like, my own compliments reflected to me, to the other person in my room. That's crazy. Yeah, it is one of the things that I probably like, really enjoyed, I think, um, one of the best, let's say, compliments that people told me were like, like, especially when a shift to something when people reflected on something that, like, I love, when people send me like messages, when they like, like Abdullah, for instance, he's one of these people. He like breaks it down completely, like my episodes, and he gives me like a phone depth, like he's writing an essay that he's gonna publish the next year, and then have a whole like research symposium about it, about each part of my episode. And I think even, like, honestly, you're sitting in the room. But I think so many times you, or at least I, encountered this imposter syndrome of like, Is my podcast even good enough to be published somewhere. Like, do people listen to it at all? Like, is it reaching anyone? Is it good enough? Is it like, quality wise? Is it good enough? Because most of the conversations are really casual. They're really like, non scripted, authentic. What is a good thing? But then I never know if it has enough quality for people to wanting to listen to it. Because I think when you think of podcasts, specifically really professional ones that are really successful in the market, usually people invite professionals into the like studio, and you do too, you invite a lot of people that know what they're talking about. And yeah, what I do is like, invite people that are just students, like really. And I think the concept fits right my podcast. But I think I really, truly appreciate when people recognize me, or like when they point out something they liked about my episode. And I think one of the best things that I've heard from one of my friends was, when is the new episode coming out? I think that's just, I think this, this person was like, constantly reminding me to post episodes and to actually publish them. And and I think that was one of the best things for me. When families listen to it. My mom, she always listens to all my episodes, um, and I have just like, I have this little circle of supporters that truly appreciate and looking look forward to it. And I think one of the best things I can hear as a podcaster is like, like I said, When is the new episode coming out? I listened to your episode. I love it. I recommended it to friend of mine. Oh my gosh, this is, like, it just feels like the weirdest dream ever, but it's a good dream. Like, it's so, so, so rewarding.

Abdullah Najjar 48:38
It's just a reminder of your efforts and the dedication you've put into this work. Yeah,

Veronika Becher 48:45
um, I was thinking one more, yeah, I'm thinking that too. Okay, hmm, if you could sum up your past year in one word or phrase. What would it be?

Abdullah Najjar 49:06
Unpredictable? Like truly unpredictable, like none of the I mean, I can even start from I mentioned earlier three things, right? Highlights, I mentioned a breakup, Weight Loss, and What was that last thing I mentioned, like, podcast, right? Or maybe we can even add, like, the internship. Like, surely I didn't predict the breakup. I definitely didn't expect that I was going to be working for that media corporation, because I didn't even it wasn't on my radar from the beginning. But then I just reached out to the the head, just, you know, introducing myself, saying, This is me. I've seen some of your work and all of that, and I ended up getting a position unpredictable, you know, I didn't expect that. I would start the podcast that I started this past fall. Just, I wasn't, it wasn't even on the radar. And you and I have, you know, just, I remember reaching out to you, saying, Hey, I have this idea in my mind. I'm probably going to do this that. And it became official, you know? And when I came back to school in September, and even the nominations, like I had no it was never on the radar. My aim was never to, like, have it nominated, or maybe potentially even dream about that, you know. So it's a lot of things happening that I didn't expect, and which makes me think about, how much of these unpredictable events am I going to encounter this year, or how many of these so it's really just keeps things Exciting. I guess.

Veronika Becher 50:59
I think my word would be brief, brief, not brief, in a word that is short to brief, like the action of breathing.

Abdullah Najjar 51:11
Oh, breathe, yeah.

Veronika Becher 51:13
And the reason I think why I chose this specific word is I think my last year was quite a windfall, but really emotional. And what I mean by emotional, like so many things happened, it was really eventful. And maybe I should have chosen eventful, but I didn't, for a reason, because I think one of the things that always got me through the day. Was breathing like, what up? But I don't mean it in a way of, like, people breathe all time, but rather, whenever I'll be really stressed, I would actually, like, I started to completely implement it into my life. I'm not saying meditating. I'm talking about like, breathing exercises, you know, getting me through a lot of things, like just taking the time for yourself to, like, calm yourself down. I'm not saying it was bad, um, but I think even feeling overwhelmed was actually like a thing. And in the second thing is probably gratitude. Um, I picked up halfway through the year, a little bit earlier than that gratitude journaling, and I've been actually getting back into it. I took a break, like the end of the year, and I realized how much it changed my perspective on life, even though I didn't believe it. At first, I was like, well, it's just grass. You're journaling, like people talk about all the time. It's like, it feels like a trend. I think someone once dropped to me like, Oh, are they actually people that like matcha, like, latter, like the like the drink, because it doesn't taste good. And I'm like, I actually like it, like, I generally like it without it being a trend. And I think it's the same thing here. Um, I realized how much gratitude journaling helped me through the day, because I do this like a routine thing. It's my morning. This is how I start. And I've, I don't know if I've ever, ever like broken down to anyone on this podcast, but I've done the concepts of times to you, but it's like, it's a really simple concept that you see this is this notebook that people sometimes even buy. It's called The Five Minute notebook. You can recreate it yourself, I think. And it's just three questions, no, in the morning you do it, three things that you're grateful for, three things that you're looking forward to. One information in the evening is three things that you loved about the day and one thing you've learned. You also be surprised how many things you learn and experience through the day. When I properly do it, I realized that I've had actually much better conversations with people and more highlights than I actually thought. I realized I am in control of my own emotions. It's not my emotions that will it's some people that will influence my emotions and how my day will go. If I had a bad encounter with someone, it will not kill me, because I can make my evening actually be a good evening, and then my day will be better if my morning was good, but my evening was bad, well, my morning was good. If it was a bad day in itself, it's just a day. It doesn't change your life. It's not going to change your week. It doesn't change anything in the next five hours. It was just a bad day. And I think just with this mindset, living on and just looking at it with this specific mindset, it gets me through a day, and it was probably the reflection of my whole year understanding it's just a day. It's um, this is, I haven't dropped it in while. Russian thing could a notch. Da son, what means where night goes? There goes the dream. And it's the thing you would say all the time when my mom would tell to me, whenever I would have a bad dream, she said would say where the night goes, there the dream goes. And say it all time to yourself, and you will have a better dream, and what it means by that is, when the night passes, the dream was there and it was a bad dream, but the night is over and a new day started. So now you will not encounter the same bad dream, because it's over, it's okay, it's over. It was a night in the next night will be different, because the dream will not repeat itself. It can be but it's not. That's not what it meant. It means. And the same thing with the day, one day might be bad, but the next thing might be good. And I think that's like probably my biggest reflection on the year, realizing that living day by day in the moment means acknowledging and putting effort in the into the things that you have in front of you in the moment that you're in right now currently, where you put in all your effort and energy that you can and have into the thing that you're focusing on right now in the present. And for once, you don't think about what happened in the past or in the future. You just focus on what you have in front of you, and you do it with so much like passion as you want and can and will make even the simplest job that you have in your life probably more enjoyable.

Abdullah Najjar 56:36
Wow, that's very deep.

Veronika Becher 56:40
Gosh, yeah, I don't know. I feel like, yeah, yeah, last year was good. And I think the podcast was one of the best things that I've and I'm doing. And Well, we actually end up becoming good friends too.

Abdullah Najjar 56:58
Yeah, enough. We never mentioned,

Veronika Becher 57:02
like, we actually start, like, seeing each other every single day, like, through podcasting, through like, all these things.

Abdullah Najjar 57:09
And it's insane, like, I can really, it's funny how I mentioned unpredictability, like, I didn't think I would ever through a podcast, like, become close friends with someone through it, through this platform, but you never know. Yeah,

Veronika Becher 57:33
I think if you would have told me, like, 10 years ago that I would start a podcast, I would have looked at them too, like, what the heck? Like, why? How? How how can that work out? So I think it's the same thing for me. I think podcasting was really good, and I will continue doing it for now, and we will see where, you know, life brings me. Yeah, I think that's kind of summing it up. Do you have any like, last reflections, if you like

Abdullah Najjar 58:08
I just think I really enjoy I really enjoy these conversations. I enjoy these podcasts that I do. I like highlighting people's stories. I like hearing about people's stories, and I like, I like having these conversations with you as well. It's really just so many lessons to be learned and so many things to reflect on, especially when, especially like with podcasting, sometimes it just might become too robotic, but it's good to sort of take a step back and reflect on did I really just have this conversation with this person, or did we really just discuss that? Or because even you mentioned, like, I have professionals on the show, I really like when we're in the room together, the virtual room at the end of the day, they're just, they're just humans. And I really appreciate sometimes that, you know, they are very invested in even what I have to say, you know, and I'm not of their caliber, perhaps, right? But, um, you know, at the end of the day, we all have, no matter what sort of background we have, we're just we're just humans, and there's a lot to learn from one another.

Veronika Becher 59:35
I think that was a really good kind of reflection. Ending, well, I would like you guys to leave with one random highlight that I had last year, and since you're sitting in my studio right now, and my studio is crazy, I was thinking of this one thing that happened when we first started podcast, like recording podcast. Us together, and I made this joke, Oh, finally, or you made the remark. You're like, Finally, people know that I actually have a sense of humor. And I was like, Yes, finally, because you're gonna actually talk about topics you've never, actually, ever talked on any podcast that you've had. And I realized, like, you know, sometimes don't plan everything in life. That's like a huge lesson, and it's okay, you know, not knowing what happens, sometimes it just happens, right? And it was just really funny. I think that's just a highlight of itself. And biggest highlight I'll probably mention is, we were singing karaoke together.

That's right, there's an existing

recording, and every single time when I listen to it, oh my gosh, I could cry and laugh at a certain time. It's like, it's hilarious. It's like, something that you feel like, you know, when your parents used to have maybe a video recording of you as a kid, and you like, watch these, like old DVDs, CDs, and whatever it is that you had, and you just, it feels like bittersweet in a good way, and that's how it feels like with audio. What's so funny? Because certain audio formats can make you feel so, like you said, like you're sitting in the room and experiencing the same things, and I never thought how powerful just an audio format can be, right?

Abdullah Najjar 1:01:30
That's right. It's like a print like a letter. Someone gives you a letter, sort of lives on forever, just words or just audio, but it's more than that. It's yeah, it's way deeper.

Veronika Becher 1:01:51
Yeah. Thank you so much for coming to my podcast again. Super happy to have you here and share kind of some insights, many insights into the highlight and Well, I hope, dear listeners, you had a wonderful last year, and don't worry, and we'll continue podcasting. And you probably do. I don't think that we will stop that fast. And even after graduation and whatever happens, I think we'll still like find a way to absolutely that passion of ours, but yeah, I'm glad you brought

Abdullah Najjar 1:02:26
me back. It's an honor, really. I enjoyed this. I really did. That's good to hear.

Veronika Becher 1:02:33
So if you ever want to be on a podcast this semester, please reach out to me and be part of my highlights of this year, and for everyone who was on my podcast last year, thank you so much for being part of it. I truly, truly appreciate any story and conversation that you shared with me and with the any listener. And also, thank you so much for any listener. Apparently, like I said, people are listening from the across the whole globe, and I super like, I get so happy about that. It's it's fantastic. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you for appreciating and valuing this podcast. And I hope to you know, see you hear from you whatever happens again soon.

Thank you. Thank you. Bye.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai