Identity Library

00:00
Veronika
Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of Identity Library. My name is Veronika, and today I'm joined by Lexi. Right. And, well, before we start this whole episode, I need to give you a little rundown about my life. And it's been a while, not gonna lie. Well, I'm finally recording an episode because way too many listeners were reaching out to me and asking, when are the new episodes coming out? And honestly, fun fact, there's even a guy who randomly reached out to me and said that he listened to all my episodes completely in a span of two days. So I think that shows I should definitely record new episodes. I'm back in grad school. Life's been busy, and I think Lexi's, like, nodding. She's like, yes, it's definitely a thing.

01:03
Veronika
So I really want to say thank you to this wonderful person that decided to join me tonight. Today. Yeah, of course. I'm really excited, and I'm so glad that I can record again an episode without worrying too much that my podcast will be just lost like a ghost. Also, I would like to add, as a disclaimer for some of my listeners, some of the topics we will cover today might be triggering and sensitive, so just be aware of it. But I'm really excited for this episode. I hope you're too. And let's just dive right into it. So, my dear friend, would you like to introduce yourself? Just tell us a little bit about yourself. Whatever you want. Fun fact, your major. What are you doing in your free time?

01:47
Lexi
Yeah, absolutely. So my name's Lexi. I just graduated from NC State in July. I was a world languages major with a concentration in Chinese, and I've been learning languages my whole life. So that's kind of like my whole thing. I'm originally from San Diego, California. I am a transfer student who used to go to Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. So I've kind of been everywhere, and currently right now, I am wonderfully unemployed, and I'm just living my best life. And I'm so excited to be here today.

02:20
Veronika
Thank you. Thank you. That was such a good interview answer. Honestly. Yeah, I feel the whole thing with being unemployed during the summer, for the first time, I was super happy to be unemployed. Honestly, now I'm looking for a job, and that's completely different. So today, since you reached out and you were like, I really want to be on your podcast. I want to talk about something. And you've told me that so many people were on my podcast previously that you know. Right. And so I discovered just a week ago that you produce music? Yes, I do. And I was actually listening to all your tracks today and yesterday, so I literally went through all of them. Wait, that makes me so happy. Like, like on Spotify or on SoundCloud.

03:08
Lexi
SoundCloud.

03:08
Veronika
Oh, so you got to like the ones that I don't like.

03:12
Lexi
Oh, like the ones in the very, like, beginning when I first started making stuff.

03:17
Veronika
That's crazy. Good to know. Good to know. But I just saw your other, like, the dark side of Lexi's life.

03:23
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. No, it's not dark. It's just bad. Just poorly made.

03:29
Lexi
So I feel like I've never interviewed anyone who, even though we are in the production room, who makes music. And so I kind of wanted to start off with, how did you come up with the whole idea, hey, I really want to, like, incorporate this hobby? And for how long have you been doing that?

03:45
Lexi
Yeah, absolutely. So I've always been a very musical person. Like, I was that kid when I was in elementary school that would walk around the playground, like, singing at the top of my lungs, like Kelly Clarkson and just bothering everyone else. And so I knew from, like, a young age that I needed to do music right? And I did piano for a few years. I've been playing guitar for over 10 years. Ukulele, like, kind of everything I can get my hands on. But I always wanted to try creating my own music. But I'm sure, as you know, creating something from scratch is so much different than just learning an instrument. It's like learning how to ride a bike versus, like, riding in a bike race, you know?

04:22
Lexi
So I had always said, one day when I'm not in school and I'm not overwhelmed and I'm not dealing with mental health issues, then I'm going to produce my own music, right? Like, it was a way for me to put it off. And then I dropped out of school in the middle of the year, and I lived in my dad's house in South Carolina, and I did nothing except work at a restaurant. And I realized I had no excuse anymore because I wasn't doing anything. So I just started teaching myself how to produce.

04:48
Veronika
I got into electronic music, and I found a lot of cool people in the rave community. And I was like, I need to be doing this. So, yeah, I got Ableton. I started watching YouTube tutorials. I bought a cheap DJ board. I was like, I'm going all in. This is going to be, like, a whole thing. People don't know this, but I chose my artist name, Allegiant, after The third book of the Divergent series.

05:14
Lexi
I even watched them. Oh, my gosh.

05:16
Lexi
That's literally where it's from.

05:18
Lexi
That's crazy. I was like, it's crossed my mind. I was like, this is no way that this is such an odd connection. And I was just thinking. I was literally. I wrote it down as a question, like, is there, like, a connection to the Diversion series? Because I used to love that series, even though, you know, I don't know. It is an interesting one, right?

05:39
Lexi
Yeah, I was totally a ya. Like a young adult book kid. So, yeah, I was inspired by that. But it's also kind of like a pun on my name, because Alex J.

05:48
Veronika
Is my first and middle name, so it's like allegiant. You know what I mean? It sounds kind of similar. So if you don't want to think of it as being from Divergent, you can think of it like that.

05:58
Lexi
Beautiful. I love the excuse of, like, it's fine. It is so part of my personality. Right?

06:04
Veronika
I didn't actually copy someone's name and. No, that's actually. You, like, covered several questions that I was like, this is what I need to ask.

06:14
Lexi
Oh, my gosh.

06:15
Lexi
This crazy.

06:15
Lexi
I can. Yeah, no, love it. Is there a reason why you decide to go with electronic music or not a different genre? What is like.

06:25
Lexi
Yeah, I think that personally, I feel kind of insecure about singing on my own tracks. It's a little too personal for me because I don't really like the way my voice sounds, which is so ironic because I'm here right now and people are going to listen to my voice, and that's already driving me insane. So I was like, how do I make music without putting my voice in it? And then I was like, how do I make music? And in, like, a super creative and experimental way where I don't have to conform to, like, a specific sound or a specific, like, simplicity of the track. I can just kind of go crazy with it. And, like, electronic is perfect for that because it's all done through the computer. You know, it's not like, outside, like, external instruments, like recording guitar, recording drums or something.

07:09
Lexi
You do everything in the computer. So I can just like, be a little hermit and sit in my house and make an entire track and finish it in, like, a few hours. And that's. That's how I make all my tracks. I just sit down, I say, I'm gonna get this done. And then, like, maybe three hours later, I'm like, all right, publish.

07:23
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. I saw that. You Published one just recently, right?

07:27
Lexi
I did, yeah.

07:28
Lexi
And where do you find your inspiration for this?

07:31
Lexi
I have a couple different artists that really inspire me from different genres. I love making multiple genres, but my favorite is like weird obscure, like alternative techno. Like, that's my jam. And so one of my favorite artists is called Brain Damage, which I think is really funny. It's like Damage with like two A's. And like, it's just, again, it's really weird sounding techno that like, you normally like, wouldn't associate with being like a techno sound.

08:02
Veronika
It's just kind of like a bunch of weird noises. And I was like, that speaks to me.

08:06
Lexi
I love weird little noises. So I just started making my music like that and just being super experimental and weird with it. And it ended up becoming my sound. Like, it's gotten to the point where I've had some people tell me, you know, they'll listen to a new track and be like. Like, I can tell that you made this. And that's like huge for me as an artist to actually, like, be recognizable with my sound. Cause I feel like that's so difficult for any producer to make stuff that sounds unique to them. Especially when there's so many producers making the same exact genres, you know, to be able to stand out like that is really special to me.

08:39
Lexi
Is there a specific emotional meaning behind the songs you create and why you choose specific sounds? Maybe for certain tracks.

08:47
Lexi
I think it depends because I have like a song called Transcend. You've probably listened to it if you listen to all of them. It was the first track that I ever released on all streaming platforms and I made it in a day. Like, I made all my other ones. I just sat down, I skipped class one day and I was like, I'm just going to make a whole track. And it's like such a weird little, like, Franken project of different genres. Like, it starts out kind of vibey and then it's like randomly super cinematic, like melodic based. And then it's like cinematic dubstep. And then it's like chill again. And then it's hard techno and it's like, how did we get to any of these places?

09:25
Lexi
It's because I like, wanted it to be like you're in a video game and you're going through the different levels. Like, you know, in Mario, the music changes.

09:34
Veronika
Like, I was literally. I was seeing that. I was like, this or Geometry Dash. Geometry Dash. Oh my gosh, you forgot that this game exists. I was like, that's like, what I'm going For like.

09:44
Lexi
Like at the end when it's like hard techno, I want people to imagine that you're like, fight the dragon. You're like fighting the ender dragon in Minecraft, bro. Like, that's the vision. And so, like, sometimes I go into it with a vision. I'm like, I know what I need to do. And then other times I'm literally just like, let's make some weird shit.

10:02
Lexi
That's crazy. How many years did it take you to actually start it? Because you've talked about how you were procrastinating on these ideas and you were just accumulating all these ideas, holding them inside of you mean, like, one day I'm going to explode like a firework and you will get everything that I've ever recorded?

10:20
Lexi
No, I started making music or trying to learn how to make music early 2023. So it's been like two and a half years now. I say that I've been doing that and I can definitely agree with that. There were a lot of ideas that I had for things that I ended up just putting on pause for a year plus, because I was just not technically ready to actually make it into something yet. One of my songs, Set Me Free, it samples the. The loop from Suga, like the do do do do do do do. Like that guitar loop. I always knew that I wanted to make an electronic track with that and so I had sampled it and put it into Ableton like years ago, and I just couldn't think of anything to do with it.

11:05
Lexi
Like, I just didn't know what to do with it because I didn't know how to like, use Ableton. And I was like, oh my God, if I try to make something out of it now, then I'm ruining my chance to use it later when I'm actually good at making music. So I waited until like November of last year and then I was like, I know what I need to do. And so I made it into like a chill, summary, like, techno track. And I'm super proud of it now and I'm glad that I waited. Like, if I had tried to do something back then, it just really would have sounded like, so terrible.

11:35
Lexi
That's crazy. Do you ever get in, like, in like, artistic blocks we like. Because that sounds like an artistic block in a way, but also a little bit you want to keep it at something like a price.

11:45
Veronika
Like one day it needs to be perfect, right? And if it's not perfect, I'm going to be Hitting it and just regretting it for choosing it. Right? Absolutely. I think creative blocks are one of the hardest things to deal with as a producer, because especially when you don't really have a lot of stuff that's out, like, you know, before, just recently, I only had, like, three songs that were out on Spotify ever. So it's kind of a little embarrassing, you know, like, when tell people, like, yeah, I'm a music producer. I'm on Spotify, I'm on Apple Music. And they're like, oh, cool. They check you out, and you literally have three songs. Like, it takes, like, 15 minutes to listen to your entire discography. It's like you. You start to feel that pressure of, like, oh, my God, I need to make more stuff.

12:26
Veronika
I need people to know what my stuff sounds like. I need them to hear my sound, and I need to, like, get my name out there. That pressure alone can make it impossible to create anything, because suddenly you're like, what do I want my sound to be? What do I want people to know me for? Like, what genre am I picking as, like, my brand? Because that's, like, a huge thing in edm, I feel like, is. You know, there's like, dubstep producers, there's techno producers, there's house producers. Sometimes they'll have fun and they'll make, like, different genre tracks, but they stick to, like, their brand. And I didn't know what my brand was for a long time, so I would always try to, like, experiment and be like, what am I good at making?

13:04
Veronika
And honestly, none of it sounded good, so I would just, like, not produce for months and months. That's what happened.

13:09
Lexi
Happened to me recently. You know, I graduated, and I moved, like, twice, and it was so crazy, and I just did not feel motivated to make any music whatsoever. And I didn't touch Ableton. I didn't touch my DJ board. I touched nothing. And I totally, like, went off the grid and stopped making music. And then one day, I don't know, it just came back to me, and I was like, I'm ready to work, and I've just been cranking out tracks, like, every other day. It's kind of crazy.

13:36
Lexi
That's crazy. It's like a wave of just ideas. But I feel like when you, like, pressure yourself into producing, sometimes it doesn't work. That's how it feels like sometimes with podcasting, too. Right?

13:44
Lexi
Right.

13:45
Lexi
We literally had this conversation before starting this episode. Like, we had some technical difficulties in this studio, and she was just like, yeah, I totally get it. That's exactly what I'm going through sometimes. And it's so much pressure. Right on you.

13:58
Veronika
But I feel like it just happens and no one sees how much work you put into behind the scenes. You only see the final product. So I have to edit sometimes up to five hours, one episode. And that's a long time. Right.

14:12
Lexi
So it's not just like a one second job. You record for an hour and then you're done. And I think, I assume it's similar to with music production. Right. You need to come up with the melody. It comes more natural, I feel like. But still it comes with like in waves. Right.

14:26
Veronika
Sometimes you don't know what you want to do. Absolutely. I feel like with like, EDM production, there's another layer to that I don't think people outside of, like the producing community really know, which is that, like, there's this whole debate over, like, whether it's okay to like, use a bunch of samples or not. Because especially I feel like in dubstep production, it's frowned upon to use samples. Like, you're expected to do all of your own sound design. So, like all the weird noises and growls and bass and chords and everything that they expect you to sit there on serum, literally customizing every single waveform by yourself. And or else you're like, not a real producer and that takes so long, especially if you don't know what you're doing. And I first started out trying to produce dubstep.

15:12
Veronika
That's what I wanted to do when I first started producing. And I was already so intimidated of, like, trying to make my name as a producer that I was like, I have to do my own sound design. I have to prove myself.

15:24
Lexi
You know, I have imposter syndrome. So, like, I would literally sit there in front of my computer for hours and just be like, it sounds so bad. Like, I would get so frustrated. And I watched so many YouTube tutorials and it just wasn't clicking. Like, I just couldn't figure out how to do it. And so the day that I realized that, like, it actually just does not matter and I can just use samples if I want, and I can just alter them and put a bunch of effects on them and it still sounds good and it doesn't make me any less valid of a producer. Like, that was. That was the day I was free. Because then I started making so many tracks and I started actually feeling good about my work.

16:02
Lexi
Like, you know, just using presets so I can still create my own melodies and my own bass lines. And everything, but not having to worry about all the technical stuff and still making good music, like, that's what freed me.

16:14
Lexi
Would you say that you find yourself in your music then? If you're saying that music is a way of expressing yourself, is it because it's really personal for you? Like, how do you find yourself in music? Why did you like? Is there a specific reason behind it?

16:29
Lexi
I feel like, yeah, I have an emotional connection to music, but honestly, it is really just like me getting to release all of the weird things that are in my brain, and they don't necessarily have to have any personal connection to me or something I've experienced or, like, anything about my identity. It's literally just like I was sitting, like, trying to do work the other day, and I just heard, like, this really random, like, little melody in my head, and I was just like, write that down. Write that down. And then the fact that I can actually, like, do that and then put it out there and people can listen to it. Like, the weird little, like, earworm that was in my brain is now, like, on Spotify. Like, that's what I really get out of it.

17:09
Lexi
It's just kind of like having all of the random creativity and, like, ADHD brain farts going on in there. Like, just being able to actually bring them to life and, like, tie them together into a song that sounds good. It's like me proving my skill through, like, you know, all of the things that I've learned, and that's kind of how it helps shape who I am. It's like, it's showing the world that I value self improvement and I value being able to watch myself get really good at something I'm passionate about.

17:39
Lexi
This is, like, much more deeper than I would, like, even anticipated, if you can say that. And I really like the idea of watching, yeah, watching yourself improve. Like, if I think back, like, when I started podcasting, it wasn't bad. Like, but it's been a year now and a half, and I'm getting there, right? You're getting better. You're growing.

17:59
Veronika
And even though you're growing, like I said, disagree or agree with me here, but I feel like I still get imposter syndrome. I sometimes feel like I procrastinate on doing it because I'm like, I don't feel like doing it right now.

18:12
Lexi
And also there are moments where you're super critical of yourself. You're like, this is not a good episode or this is not a good production. Do you think in the future you will be actually, like, producing and singing too. Like, will you get to this point?

18:26
Veronika
I've thought about it. I actually. I have a track that's, like, deep in the vault. I made it, like, over a year ago, I think, and it's not like anything that I have out right now. It's very melodic based, emotional, not any of the weird techno stuff that I make.

18:44
Lexi
And I had lyrics to go with it because, you know, when I was younger, I struggled a lot with substance abuse. I was going through a lot of mental health issues, and, you know, I was using that to cope. And, you know, it was something that followed me for a long time that I finally got free from two years ago. And trying to figure out who I was outside of that was so difficult because it had been my life since I was a teenager was something that I felt like I really wanted to put into a creative work. So I wrote these lyrics and. And I still have not released it, honestly, because I'm scared, you know, like, because right now my brand with music is just kind of, like, making weird experimental stuff.

19:26
Lexi
Like, it's not tied to who I am or, like, my struggles at all. And so I feel like if I put out something like that's super personal to me and, like, something kind of controversial that, you know, I'm now sharing with the world. It's like, music isn't an escape for me anymore. It's bringing me back to my past. You know what I mean?

19:45
Veronika
So that's, like, kind of always been like a debate. My mind is like, do I, like, finish it? Do I make it? Do I put it out there? Or do I just, like, keep it locked away, like, for myself? You know, it's like. It's kind of really interesting in that way. Do you feel like you have to express it to let go? Maybe the situation, like, not trying to be a therapist right now? I don't know. I feel like I've come to peace with it, you know, I don't have any, like, lingering feelings towards my past anymore. It happened and it shaped who I am. And now, you know, I'm completely different person. I live every single day, like, you know, completely in the moment and aware of everything going on.

20:28
Lexi
And I've been able to work on myself a lot and figure out who I am outside of that. So I think it was just kind of a way for me to maybe inspire other people who are going through something similar. Just be like, hey, you know, I know how tough it is, but I also know that you can totally make it out. So I feel like, that's an aspect as to why I would want to release it, but at the same time, it's like, then everybody gonna know that it was me. You know?

20:54
Lexi
Like, it's almost exposing your struggles in your past and completely being an open book. Right?

21:00
Lexi
Yeah.

21:00
Lexi
Laying out your cards completely.

21:02
Veronika
Yeah, exactly.

21:02
Lexi
I think there's an aspect of, like, EDM production that has, like, a layer of. I can't pronounce the word. Anonymity.

21:10
Lexi
Don't ask me. I'm the wrong person to ask you. But we. We're accepting words. Yeah, yeah.

21:17
Lexi
Like, whatever. You know, like, it's. There's an aspect of being anonymous in the production because it isn't really your own lyrics and your own vocals. You're just kind of making noises, you know? So, like, who you are and how you've struggled in your past is relatively unknown to anyone who could listen to your music. You know, they're just like, oh, wow, this person is good at making noises. Right.

21:37
Veronika
That's all they think about you. And I kind of like that. That's all they think about me because it helps me, like, kind of remove myself from my, like, exterior music producer Persona. But then if I bring all my baggage in there, it's like, oh, now they know that I did drugs. Like, that's awkward. Yeah. And that's, like. I think that's a tough spot to be in. Right.

21:58
Lexi
But also, I feel like that's something that you need to decide for yourself.

22:02
Lexi
Right.

22:02
Lexi
It's difficult to. How open do you want to be with your peers? How open do you want to be with other people?

22:08
Veronika
And that's just something that, like I said, it's your decision in the end of the day, because. Sorry for relating so much to my podcast. Not that it's like. No, no, it's good. I feel like it's similar because when recorded my last episode, I actually have one episode that was never released, by the way, and it exists on this computer, but it will probably take a while to be released, if ever. And actually someone struggle, because I think it's difficult. You're sharing so many thoughts and so many thoughts out into the world, and people might see it. Right. People might find your podcast and you'd never know who it is, but something that.

22:45
Lexi
Stick with me. And it was the second episode I ever released that is, to this point, probably my most successful one ever, funny enough. Right. Is the one that I recorded with Nima, and he talked about suicide attempts, how he tried to, like, commit suicide, and how he found meaning of life through, like surviving this whole experience. And he said to me, I really want to share this story because I'm so sure that at least one person will listen to it and they will actually feel like they actually are hurt and someone is there for them. And that someone actually can relate to me. And that made me think how much of an impact maybe my little podcast that is somewhere in the back of people's mind and no one maybe listens to it.

23:29
Lexi
Who knows that maybe I just aim for this one person to hear my voice, to hear my opinion, thoughts, whatever, and feel like they can actually express themselves however they want.

23:40
Lexi
Absolutely. Yeah. I think like, that's really inspiring for one, because I actually went through something really similar to your last guest. And I definitely remember like feeling inspired by other people I knew who were in similar situations as me who like found their spark again and they became happy and they were super content with their lives. And I mean, similarly enough, I used to have a TikTok account that is private and no longer in use. So like nobody go looking for it. But it used to have like a decent amount of followers. And I had a video I made about addiction actually go viral, like super viral, I want to say, like almost 3 million views.

24:21
Lexi
Oh my God.

24:22
Lexi
I mean, for one, being perceived like that, like my baggage being perceived by that many people is so terrifying because I just make silly little videos expecting no one to see it, right? But then, you know, I had a bunch of comments from people being like, oh, you're not a real addict, you're fake or you should relapse. Like people saying some really like weird stuff. And then I also got a bunch of comments and DMs actually from people saying that I inspired them to go sober. And that was such a surreal moment because people I had never met, people I never thought I'd talk to, were saying that I had an impact on their life and I helped them make like a life changing decision just because I talked about it.

25:04
Lexi
And so like, I don't know, it's so being able to influence people through any sort of creative work is like such a unique feeling that you'll never really understand until you do it yourself. Which, I mean, I'm sure that you know what I'm talking about.

25:19
Lexi
You meet people that hate it and people that love it. And honestly, that was something even with not even negative comments when I first released. It's funny, I'm like meeting so many people that are producing music nowadays that I haven't known back when I needed them. It's always like, the universe being like, yeah, redo your podcast intro. Because the podcast intro, if you ever listen to it, is actually created by me and I'm not a music producer at all. And it was like this computer did not work. It was. I couldn't actually listen to the final track till it was complete and I had to readjust it. But I couldn't go back and re listen certain parts of it because the program would just not work. And I'm like, this is fantastic.

26:00
Lexi
So I basically always heard only the end, like, the finished result, and then I had to readjust it manually. So, yeah, people were like, really? Like, some people hated it, some people loved it. And I realized, oh, I don't think I can please everyone. And there'll be always people that will not like you or not like what you're producing, and you can't do anything about it, but it does something to your head. I'm so happy that I have barely any comments anywhere. And so I basically kind of avoid any negative comments from people because I know they can be there. But I always think, you know, one of the most loyal listeners are the people that are your anti. Like, your haters.

26:39
Lexi
Yes.

26:39
Lexi
And I'm always so grateful for everyone that hates my podcast because that means these people actually help me.

26:45
Lexi
Right. It's like, you're thinking about me. I'm living in your mind, like, and you're supporting me. You're streaming my stuff. That's great.

26:51
Lexi
Yes, it's called reinformation. Like, the more people think about me, the more will the universe will help me grow as a podcaster? No, it's just. That's just something. And yeah, it's difficult and it's like, nice to hear it from someone else who is, like, going through something similar. Just having so many people that don't, like, maybe what you produce. I don't know, like, how you feel comfortable talking about it, but I'll be curious. Like, how did it happen? Is it like your whole addiction journey?

27:22
Lexi
Right, right. Basically, I had a pretty bad home life when I was growing up. I lived in California. I had a single mom who worked two jobs and we had no money. And so I worked from when I was a young age to try and help out and to try and make ends meet. And naturally, I mean, in that situation, like, you don't really have a choice in whether or not you can just, like, be mentally healthy and focus on yourself, because obviously, like, paying bills, getting food on the table, like, that comes first, you know, and so, like, I was never really in a position growing up where I could choose myself and I could figure out who I was in, like, a stable environment. And so, like, I just.

28:05
Lexi
When I was 16, you know, I got in with the wrong crowd in high school, and I just kind of started, you know, going out and, like, smoking with people. And it was. It became an escape for me because it was like a little, like, world that I could go into that was not, like, my harsh reality. And I could forget for a night just everything that I was experiencing. And it was really. It's really bittersweet because, you know, a lot of times, like, when people talk about addiction, they assume, like, oh, it must have been so bad. Like, when you were in the throes of your addiction, it had to have been so bad, right? You know, and now everything's better. And then you have to say, well, no, because if it was bad, I never would have done it.

28:47
Lexi
You know, that's the whole point, is that it's actually so good that you have to keep doing it. You know? Like, it makes you feel good. It makes you forget about all your shit. It helps you cope. It helps you finally, like, calm your nervous system. And that's like. That in itself is so addicting. Even if you take out, like, the chemical component of it, like, just being able to have that as well as, like, the community that you gain from participating in it, you know? I mean, everybody goes out drinking with their friends or goes to happy hour or something. And sometimes people don't even realize that doing that like, every single week and looking forward to it every single week. Like, that can be early stages of addiction. Like, they don't even realize that because it's so normalized.

29:29
Lexi
But, like, that's what happened to me, you know? I was like, oh, it's just, like, something fun that I do with my friends. There's no connection. Yeah, I can stop at any time, right? That's, like, what they all say. And I would. I would cut myself off for, like, months at a time and be, like, so proud of myself. And then I would convince myself that I could totally just, like, do it once again, like, recreationally, with no strings attached. And I'd be right back in the hole. Like, I made that mistake so many times over the course of years where I just kept thinking, like, no, this time's gonna be different. You know, all the other times that I did it once, and then I fell back into this for, like, months. Like, it's actually just not gonna be that way this time.

30:07
Lexi
And I would just gaslight myself into thinking that was true. I mean, after so many years of that and just, like, embarrassing myself, you know, like, blacking out in front of people I'd never met and just, like, you know, breaking promises, of trying to, like, control myself, like, it was just a life that I did not want to live. I didn't want to be associated with that, and I didn't want people to have a bad impression of me. So I just woke up and I said, I'm not going to do this anymore. And I mean, at this time, like, I'm literally not going to do this anymore. And I gave away everything that I had, like. Like, all of my alcohol, everything. I just said, take it, I don't want it. And I've never gone back.

30:46
Lexi
Was it like a gradual progress that you, like, stopped doing it, or was it just one day, cut it off and then you. Did you relapse too?

30:54
Lexi
No, it was a complete cold turkey moment. I just woke up, I said, nope, I'm not doing this anymore, and I have not relapsed at all. I'm super proud of that because it was really hard, you know, like, just wanting to go back to that comfort again, dealing with so many different things. And I just decided that it ultimately wasn't worth it. Like, it's never worth it. Like, there's literally always something else that you could be doing to try and make your situation better. You know, you can go on a walk, you can get a little coffee, like a treat. You can start trying to make new friends. You can do what I did, get into music production. Like, there's so many things that you can find to make your life fulfilling or to distract yourself from how hard life really is.

31:35
Lexi
So it's just never worth it to do something that's ultimately going to damage not only like, your health and your mental state, but also your relationship with other people.

31:44
Lexi
Would you say, like, if people are in this situation, right, and they don't know exactly how to get out of it, do you think you needed more support from others, or was it the community that got you out? Is it, like, find a hobby? What would you. Is there a recommendation you would give to people?

32:03
Lexi
I don't know. I feel like it's kind of. It's kind of different for me, I guess, like, just because I did quit everything all at once with the mentality of, like, no matter what I have or don't have going for me, I'm making this decision no matter what. But I think if I was trying to gradually get off of it and try to find different things to fill that space in my life. I'd say just like, genuine connections with people, like genuine friendships, a good relationship, like, just anything that can substitute, like, those dopamine and like, serotonin chemicals that you're getting from, like, the drugs, you know, and just being able to spend time with people in, like, sober spaces, because I think that's another thing too, is like, everybody hangs out in not sober spaces. That's like.

32:52
Lexi
Like the hardest thing in college for me was just that, like, everybody parties and everybody goes to bars or everybody pre games. There's always, like, some kind of alcohol involved. And it's so hard to just find a space where no one cares about that and nobody looks at you funny if you say you don't drink. They always have to ask, like, oh, why? Like, why not? And, you know, sometimes you just don't want to go down that road. So, like, that would be the advice I'd give to people. It's just like, find people who value you as a person, whether or not you're intoxicated.

33:23
Lexi
You, like, made me think of something else. I feel like normalizing people not drinking alcohol.

33:29
Lexi
Yeah.

33:29
Lexi
Is such a big thing.

33:30
Lexi
It really is.

33:32
Lexi
I. Without disclosing names, I have a friend of mine, and he basically does not drink at all. And I feel like there's this thing of whenever you are in the social setting, people always asking, like, why are you not drinking? Why would you not drink? Like, it's almost the most normal thing that you have to drink. And if you don't, you kind of like an odd one, and you need to justify yourself. But I feel like it's the same thing as, you know, nowadays when people are like, oh, you don't eat meat. Okay, that's fine. They don't ask for the details. And I feel like that's something that I'm missing sometimes too. Like, I don't drink much at all. And I always get into the situation, like, oh, tonight I just want to be sober. And then, like, look at me like I'm crazy.

34:14
Lexi
Like, I'm like, okay, you can have fun. It's just. I feel like you need to find the right people and the right location and where you're going to. Would you say, like, do you drink any alcohol anymore?

34:24
Lexi
No, I haven't touched anything in two years. I. I think my favorite thing to do in that situation is to just kind of flip it on them. Just be like, why are you drinking? Like, why do you not want to remember tonight. Like, you're literally hanging out with your friends and you don't even want to remember that. Like, that's so weird, you know? Like, I try to, like, flip the script if they start, you know, making me feel weird for being sober. Because, like, why do you want to wake up and like, throw up a bunch tomorrow? Like, that doesn't sound fun. I don't want to do that. That's why I'm not drinking. I want to wake up after a party and feel refreshed. Or I want to know that I can make sure all of my friends are going to get home safe.

34:58
Lexi
Because that's what I value more than, like, being on the floor drunk, you know? Like, I totally don't judge anybody who likes to drink for fun, you know, because that was me for so many years. But like, when you kind of make it your whole personality and you cannot go to a single function without having to be drunk. Like, like, you gotta work on yourself a little bit. Like, like there's something in you that's missing that you need to figure out who that is so that you can find yourself outside of this.

35:25
Lexi
No, that's like, I, I really like this perspective and I really like this advice because I think it will be helpful to a lot of people. And I never thought about, like, flipping it either. Like, actually such a smart way.

35:37
Lexi
Yeah, make them think about it.

35:38
Lexi
And I, I always use the excuse. I'm like, I love to dance. I love going out but not drinking. And I just like dancing. I mean, nothing too crazy. I love music. I love edm, by the way.

35:48
Lexi
Fun fact, that's great.

35:50
Lexi
And Germany is known for that techno music. So honestly, it kind of depends where you live. But also we are known for it too. And I, I love to dance and I, A lot of people are like, how can you dance? Are you, like, not afraid that people remember that I need some alcohol? I'm like, you know, the thing is, as sad as it might sound, like most people are drunk, they won't remember you anyway. So you dancing sober, you might be the only sober person that will remember this night fully. So you might as well just go get, you know, out there and just dance because no one will remember.

36:21
Lexi
And also, so what if people see you? Like, you're literally in a club. Like you're being perceived. No matter what, just have fun with it. Like, what if I'm killing it? What if my dance moves are actually not terrible? Like, what if they want to remember that? You know, you just gotta like, think of it from a perspective of, like, why are we so insanely worried about what other people think of us? Like, just go do your thing.

36:43
Lexi
I think that's sometimes in our heads, like, we focus so much or, like, worry so much what other people think of us that we forget about the fact that everyone else is also thinking the same thing. And so in the end of the day, we actually don't have that much, like, time to focus on other people than we are focusing on our own problems. Yeah. And honestly, I always say, if you have too much time on hand, I don't know, do something, find a hobby to think about something else. And if you are thinking about my dance moves and you're judging them, well, then you. I'm honored that you have so much time to think about.

37:16
Lexi
Exactly. It's like, why do we even value the opinions of people who are looking at us and judging us? Like, clearly they're not the type of people that we would be associating with or wanting validation from. So why are we so worried about it? Like, if I meet someone and they. The first thing they say to me is, yeah, I saw you dancing over there and you looked, like, really awkward. I'd be like, who are you?

37:38
Lexi
No, it's so true, though. No. And, yeah. And I feel like that's why music is sometimes important. What type of music this is. This ties in. So I. I love it. And I really appreciate you sharing that. Like, I feel like a lot of people don't talk about it. Right. And substance abuse is looked down upon and people just. Well, they don't mention it or they don't talk about the struggles. And especially I think it's super difficult if you're growing up in a family that is. Sorry if I'm like in quotation mark, dysfunctional, like, in a way where it's like.

38:10
Lexi
No, it is. You're. You're right.

38:12
Lexi
Yeah. And it's. But also, I want to be careful right here to name it this way. But also, if you are in this environment, it's really difficult. Do you have any siblings?

38:20
Lexi
I do. I have one sister and she's five years older than me. And she actually lives in Germany.

38:25
Lexi
That's crazy.

38:26
Lexi
She lives in Berlin and she's been there for like three years.

38:29
Lexi
That's crazy. Berlin is literally the place of techno.

38:32
Lexi
No, I know. I went there over winter break. Like, I. I was there during December and I was so mad that, like, I was with my. My mom and my sister and they did not want to go To a techno club. I was like, I'm in this spot, bro. Like, this is my moment and I never got to do it.

38:47
Lexi
This is sad. But if I'm. If I'm in Germany, this is where we're going. I'm like, I feel like I can stay the whole time in like, only techno places because sometimes it gets repetitive and it's really loud. But I like EDM because I like the lyric parts too. So you can like dance to it and you can maybe sing to it, but you can't at the same time. And it's just. I like, the beat drops and like, it's just. I don't know. I used to have a playlist. It's called Party All Day. And it's all it is techno and edm. And I would wake up to it in the morning at 6 to like an EDM song literally, like blasting through my room. And I would go to bed like that too.

39:26
Lexi
Well, see, you're speaking my language. We're friends now. So if you ever want me to just like come over and play a set for you, I literally will, like, I'll just sit there with my DJ board just like, do, do.

39:36
Lexi
Do, and I'll be like, next to you. I was literally talking about it, that I should put it on my bucket list to go to a rave. And I've been meaning to do it, but I just need to find the time and the place and the location.

39:50
Lexi
Well, see, I have the time and the place and the location, so you can always ask me about that. I just don't know how much time you have.

39:57
Lexi
That's crazy. I appreciate it. Would you, like. I think I have two more things that I'm, like, really curious about. I'm curious, are you more about like, the lyrics or the beat? Like when you're listening to music as like, music producer, do you, like, what are you paying attention to the most?

40:15
Lexi
I pay attention to the beat always. I feel like most people I know are very lyrical people. They like when a song has a message and they like being able to relate to what's being talked about. But for me, I don't know, it's never really been a priority for me so much as, like, how the sounds make me feel. Which is why I love producing electronics so much. Because I. I couldn't care less about whatever, like, vocal sample I put in my tracks. But if I make the sounds cool, then I'm sitting there with my headphones like, this is so cool, you know? And so, like, if you can make a good track, like, without any vocals. I feel like that's how you know you're a really good, like, music producer.

40:53
Lexi
Because, like, being able to move people through the sound as well as the lyrics is, like, so all encompassing in what it means to make music, you know?

41:04
Lexi
No, that's like, so well said. I'm actually a more beat person too, but I think partially because I listen to a lot of music that is international and sometimes I don't really understand the lyrics. I have such a huge playlist on, like, Asian music, for instance. Like, I have a huge thunder, like, I don't know, playlist on Japanese music for some, like, as an example. And I feel like when you listen to music like that and you don't understand the lyrics completely, I feel like the beat matters more. And I don't listen so much to, like, slower music. So all the upbeat music is mostly relying on, like, I feel like the beat too, rather than the lyrics itself.

41:44
Lexi
I definitely feel that I love international music. I have playlists of, like, Japanese music, Chinese music, Cantonese, Korean, French, Italian. Like, I have, like, Spanish. I have so many different language playlists. And sometimes it does help that I speak some of the languages that I'm listening to, like, with, like, Chinese and Japanese. I like that I can understand what I'm listening to, but I feel like that's an even more fun part of it is because whenever you like, you already know that the beat is good. And then it's like, it's kind of like unlocking more territory in a video game, like, whenever you also understand the words too. And then you're just like, wow, this is such a good song. And, like, I can appreciate it in its entirety now.

42:25
Lexi
No, it's. I listen to a lot of Russian rep and most my friends don't speak Russian well, partially because I'm not living in Russia right now. But it's just exactly the thing where I'm like, people might like the music. They're like, whoa, this is so good. Like, I've been showing people my music and that's actually really random thing. But when you're speaking about producing your music, I feel really intimidated showing people my music sometimes. And that's not even me producing it. It's just me showing what I'm listening to. And I'm like, I have no clue if the person will like it. Because not everything is mainstream.

42:57
Lexi
No. I feel that it's so awkward trying to, like, tell people about my music, especially my techno, because it's literally just like here's my child, I guess.

43:06
Lexi
Yes. And it's like, it's intimate right too. Like you see so much more of your personality shining through it. And I. I realized though there are certain languages where like English for instance, I feel like depends a lot on being beat. Like a lot of the lyrics are not really making sense in my opinion. I don't know. Not everything. There are some really good artists out there where I feel like the lyrics make totally sense. Like, I like J. Cole, for instance. What is like completely not techno related. But I think that his lyrics, although there are some songs where I'm like, well, I don't know if they make sense to me, but basically what I'm trying to say is I feel like there are certain languages where it just. The lyrics are more important. Like, I feel like in Russian that's the case.

43:48
Lexi
People listen to it so understand. Like, I don't understand why it's so like, interesting. And I'm like folk music, for instance, also like a jungle bomb. Like, I feel like it's not only the beat kind of beat, if you can say that, but the vocals and the lyrics itself that make them unique.

44:04
Lexi
I definitely agree with that. I think for me, like, vocals were never like a priority in my music. I will literally just go on Splice, which is like, you know, sample library, and I will just go through a bunch of different vocals, just saying the most random things and I'll. I'll hear it and then I'll like see the vision. You know, like with my kick drums and my melodies, I'll just be like this like combination of sounds that they're making with their voice would go with the combination of sounds that I'm making on the computer. And that's like why I choose them. Like, literally half of the lyrics, lyric chops that I use in my tracks don't make any sense at all. Like, it's. It's not for any sort of lyrical consumption. It's literally just because the sounds go with the sounds.

44:51
Lexi
Would you say that you have an, like, do you have an inspiration like, or someone like role model in the industry that you look up to?

44:59
Lexi
Yeah, I think the. The artist that I mentioned before, like Brain Damage, I love him for his sound, but I also think like some other artists that I really enjoy listening to are Phantasm, he's a techno producer. And I think also it's like this. It's in Russian. I actually can't read it. Oh really? But no, I love Russian techno.

45:20
Lexi
That's crazy because oh my gosh. That's like, maybe I can read it.

45:24
Lexi
Yeah, you probably can. You can help me out with that because sometimes I just be adding stuff to my playlist. I'm like, this could mean anything, but it's good.

45:32
Lexi
I love booze. Have you heard of him? He's a really small, I think don't quote me on it. He might be Australian. He might be. Not actually, I'm not sure like what English speaking country he's actually from. But the interesting thing is he does like this whole thing of he records sounds and then he creates a whole track himself. And so the funny thing is he used to just do little like videos on Instagram. And he recorded the song track is called Library by Boone. And he just recorded the tracks and the sounds of the library. So whatever you hear like someone typing someone, like, it's because he was like, I cannot study. So he created this mini clip and I was like, oh my gosh. I wrote it into the comments. There's so many people saying the same thing.

46:18
Lexi
Can you release a full version of it? And I love that idea. I feel like it's just you get inspired by a lot of things that are just surrounding you and then you go from there.

46:27
Lexi
I love doing that so much. I love finding inspiration from random things and just being like, I can make a track out of it. This, like a couple months ago I had been following this like kind of popular comedian on Instagram. I just thought his jokes were funny. And one time I literally slid in his DMS and I was like, yo, if you follow me back, I will literally take your most popular bit and I will remix it into a track. And he totally thought I was not serious. He was like, oh, yeah, I mean, sure. Like, you know, just send it to me, I'll let you know if it's good. And I sent it to him later and I just said, your move. And. And he could not believe it. He thought it was so funny.

47:05
Lexi
And I ended up dropping it on Soundcloud. And it's out there, it's like it.

47:09
Lexi
Said, what's the name?

47:10
Lexi
Oh, his name.

47:11
Lexi
No, what's the. What's the name of the song that you produced?

47:15
Lexi
It's called Beans.

47:16
Lexi
Beans.

47:17
Lexi
Well, because it's about like Chipotle beans. Like the. Because the joke that he's making is that like his brother will go to Chipotle and then like ask for like the black beans and then wait before asking for the refried beans so that he gets double beans. And that like he thought it Was really stupid, right? Because, like, why are you trying to, like, scam, like, a worker out of a bunch of beans? Like, it's just kind of. It's kind of, like, awkward, and I just thought it was so funny that I made a bean song.

47:45
Lexi
Am I allowed to share it?

47:46
Lexi
Oh, yeah, you can.

47:47
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. Wait, we need to find it. You said it's beans?

47:51
Lexi
Yeah, beans. Ray Lau, Tech House remix.

47:54
Lexi
Oh, my God. Are you faster in finding it than I am? Because this is crazy. You have so many songs. Monks. Oh, my gosh.

48:01
Lexi
Don't worry, you'll get there.

48:03
Lexi
But beans, like a bean?

48:05
Lexi
Yes.

48:06
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. How do you. How do you find that? Okay, I'm gonna give you my phone and you can find it.

48:11
Lexi
Okay, I got you.

48:12
Lexi
Trust you. But I'll be curious if you can multitask. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

48:19
Lexi
No, no, it's all good. I. I've already gotten there.

48:22
Lexi
And do you. Oh, my gosh, that's so fast.

48:25
Lexi
Don't worry. I know my own soundcloud like the back of my hand.

48:28
Lexi
Okay, so I've heard we are playing that.

48:30
Lexi
Yeah, you. And it's pretty funny.

48:33
Lexi
Okay, wait. Yeah, and after this, we need to play your favorite one. I feel like. I hope my. Yeah, the audio will pick it up. Actually, can I do half and. And the guy go. Wait, what? What the. What? Beans.

48:51
Lexi
Beans. It's the bean people. Beans, beans, beans. You gotta get a bowl. Beans, beans.

49:18
Lexi
You always get half black beans and half brown beans. And he's convinced you can get. Get more beans that way. You do that, you sicko pervert. What the hell? He's embarrassing there because he's one of these people. He's got all these weird chipotle hat.

49:47
Lexi
Oh, hell no, bro. Beans.

49:56
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. This is crazy. Like, I might have to, like, put it. This is crazy.

50:01
Lexi
I locked in so hard. After he said yes, he would agree to the deal, I literally went home. I. I was, like, on the wolf line, bro. I ran home, got out my computer, and I just locked in for, like, four hours, and it was done.

50:16
Lexi
This is crazy.

50:17
Lexi
This is just.

50:18
Lexi
This is so random. I actually, like, I was looking into your account, and I think my favorite is I'm alive.

50:24
Lexi
Oh, yeah, I actually just made that one. I made it, like, sitting in UNC Library, like, just waiting for my boyfriend to finish doing his homework.

50:32
Lexi
And I love. I'm alive. Like, this is, like, probably my, like, sound like I'm jamming to it really.

50:38
Lexi
I love that. I'm so glad. I've had a lot of people on TikTok say that they really like it. And it was actually my second time ever making like UKG house music. So I'm glad that people like it because I was kind of nervous. I was like going outside of my comfort zone.

50:53
Lexi
I feel like I should maybe blended it in the end of this episode being like, if you want to listen to this is the little track. What is your favorite, like song, would you say?

51:04
Lexi
I don't know. I think like, they all have such different vibes that it's kind of hard to say. But I think like, when I'm in my car and I just want to like, blast something, it's my song. 777.

51:16
Lexi
This is crazy. That was remind me. Oh, there's a different, like, remix. Like, like a DJ who would remix songs. And I was like, this is crazy. This is like the hardcore stuff.

51:26
Lexi
Yeah.

51:27
Lexi
And I'm like, this is.

51:28
Lexi
It was like my first, like super experimental track where I just like wanted it to be like weird noises. And I got so much good feedback on it. It's actually my most popular song now. Like, a lot of people really like it.

51:41
Lexi
I feel like. Okay, you said seven.

51:43
Lexi
Seven. Yes.

51:44
Lexi
Good to know.

51:45
Lexi
And also a fun fact too is that I make all the album cover myself. It's all photos that I've taken and just edited on like iPhone editor. So the. The 7771 is just like a deck of cards. I took three or like four out of. And I put on my bed like, and I turned the lights off and just flash cameraed it. And then I just like turned up the saturation and like the brightness and everything. Like, it's all me. Like I just. I be in my room doing this stuff.

52:10
Lexi
This is like fantastic. That's just like how to become also a photographer and be creative and all.

52:15
Lexi
True. I'm learning so much in this journey.

52:19
Lexi
No, but I feel like you. You forget how many other skills you have to acquire when you want to just do one thing that is creative.

52:25
Lexi
Exactly. Like why, like music production is why I can put Canva on my resume. Not. Not like Ableton or anything, but canvas. Because I make my album covers on there.

52:35
Lexi
Oh my gosh. This is just. This is funny. But the Bean song was stick with me. Like, I'll be like Beans.

52:42
Lexi
It stuck with me for a while. I'd just be like chilling at home, just being like, what the hell, Beans?

52:49
Lexi
I'm just gonna create Some ear worms, or do you call it this way? Yeah, for all the listeners that are listening to Beans.

52:57
Lexi
And you're probably gonna be, like, the source of half of my streams of that song after this comes out.

53:04
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. No, seriously, it should be, like, both ways, right? You can just create a remix with my German accent.

53:11
Lexi
Sure. I'll literally do it, sample you on some vocals for my next techno track. Let's do it.

53:16
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. I can say like, oh, my gosh. I can. Whatever you want.

53:21
Lexi
No, I'm actually not even joking.

53:25
Lexi
This is crazy. This is, like, whatever you want. You get it? No, it's. It's funny because I feel like my accent confuses people. They don't know if I'm German at all at this point. Germans don't know if I'm German at all. And people just, yeah, are really confused. So it's actually nice to get out of the comfort zone on recording something and hearing your voice. So, yeah, I hope. I really hope that one day. That's like, a bias. Veronica herself. Worst case, if you don't want to publish it, can I listen to your track?

53:57
Lexi
I would love to listen. I would definitely publish it because I'm trying to actually, like, move away from using sampled vocals because I feel like there's always that awkward situation when you're listening to a random EDM song and then you realize that somebody else used the same exact vocal track as you, and so you're, like, losing some of your originality in that whenever it's, like, the same lyrics. And so I've really been trying to find people, actually, to sample for my new tracks because I'm trying to make an album. I didn't tell anybody that, but now I guess everybody knows. I'm trying to make an album, and I'm trying to feature, like, different vocalists on it. I know.

54:35
Lexi
I have a couple Korean rappers, actually, that I'm going to feature on some tracks of mine that are unreleased as well as, like, another friend wanted to do vocals. So I would actually, like, love to have you one as well. I can put you in the album. It'd be great.

54:49
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. This is crazy.

54:50
Lexi
This is, like.

54:51
Lexi
I feel so honored. That's crazy. That's just gonna be the German track. Oh, my gosh. But that's fantastic. Like, yeah, now we just dropped it. There's gonna be an album, and honestly, I hope everyone will actually, you know, listen to your songs. So how can we find you if it's not SoundCloud?

55:12
Lexi
SoundCloud Spotify, Apple Music, Instagram, TikTok. It's all the same. It's at allegiant. Except the. The second A is a V. It's supposed to be upside down. It's stylized. But that just means that everybody in my life calls me a leg event.

55:26
Lexi
Yes, that's crazy.

55:28
Lexi
But, yes, I am that on every platform.

55:31
Lexi
So, again, repeating A, L, L, E, G, I, V, N, T. Beautiful. I feel like, I don't know, like a train station person that is like, spelling someone's name.

55:44
Lexi
See, I can sample that. You could be my new. What's it called? Producer tag.

55:50
Lexi
No way. That's funny.

55:52
Lexi
This is the creative process, guys. This is literally how it works. You just take two people with weird brains and then you just say, what if we made a thing and then it happens. This is literally how it goes. Goes.

56:03
Lexi
Oh, my gosh. Sometimes that's exactly what it is. Like, the amount of times that I try to record something and I'll be like, you should have. Like, so many things just didn't go the way they should. And I'm so happy I'm sitting in the studio and actually recording of someone. So, honestly, I would be down for the another side quest with Veronica that is ending in the most random way possible. But, yeah, no, I. I loved having this conversation and just. Just talking about music production. And it's so funny because today I have a friend who is sitting right now in my MBA class, and he actually apparently produces music too. And he showed me his track, and when we're listening to it, I'm like, oh, my gosh. I'm like, I'm.

56:43
Lexi
Wait, do you know what his name is?

56:45
Lexi
I don't know if he actually. His name is Hunter, but I don't know if he actually, like, produces. Yes, sir. Hunter, you got featured in the podcast episode about mentioning it to anyone else.

56:54
Lexi
Well, I would love to meet him. Him, because I'm always looking to collab.

56:59
Lexi
Yeah. But I was like, this is crazy. I feel like I'm starting a series of just featuring music producers in my podcast. So is there anything else that you feel like you would love to share in this podcast? Something that. A recommendation. What is your favorite song? Then 777 people should listen to it. Anything.

57:19
Lexi
Yeah. I think if I could say one more thing, it's just to anyone who has ever wanted to produce music or do anything creative and has been doing what I did and saying, oh, well, maybe when I'm not busy, maybe when I'm like, in a better place in my life. Just don't do that. It's like, just do it, bro. Just start. Just. Just start, like, literally today. Just go search up, like, tutorials for whatever you want to do. And just start putting your stuff out. And stop being scared about what people are going to say about it. Stop being scared if it's bad or not. Because at the end of the day, it's still your work. You know, your work can't be bad. It can just be whatever version of it you want to put out.

57:59
Lexi
So just go with the flow and be you, because that's my best advice.

58:05
Lexi
I love that. I really do. Thank you so much for being on my podcast.

58:08
Lexi
Of course.

58:09
Lexi
Because I'm a bad person. I will play I'm alive to end this episode because we are all alive.

58:16
Lexi
This is true.

58:17
Lexi
I truly appreciate you being here, and I hope everyone who listened to this episode is happy that there's finally a drop and I am coming back. You'll get more episodes this season. And if there's someone out there who is like, I really want to reach out to her. I have more music. Or they want to collaborate with Lexi, please reach out. Reach out to her. You'll find her on Instagram, any other platform. And thank you so much, everyone.

58:42
Lexi
Thanks for having me.

58:44
Lexi
Bye. Bye.

59:08
Lexi
Sam, it. Put your hand down.

01:00:01
Lexi
Nowhere you go, it won't be. Got to get you up.

01:00:21
Lexi
With Sa Wish.

01:02:22
Lexi
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Identity Library. And I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.