Identity Library

Chapter 27: Unapologetically Disabled – The Streng...
Meeting created at: 19th Feb, 2026 - 5:09 PM

00:00
Veronika Becher
Foreign. Hey, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Identity Library. My name is Veronika Becher, and today I'm joined by Indio. It's a pleasure having you on my podcast, first of all. Second of all, this is the most unexpected episode I probably never expected to record in the end of the day because we've met when I just recorded my first episode ever.

00:34
Indio Skinner
Yeah, it was crazy. It was a while ago. We've been talking about doing one for a while now.

00:39
Veronika Becher
And I was like, I just. We met in the most random setup, too. It was, like, raining outside. I don't know if you remember. It was so cold.

00:46
Indio Skinner
It was at Tally, Right? Like at the coffee shop.

00:48
Veronika Becher
Yes.

00:48
Indio Skinner
We just walked together for a while.

00:50
Veronika Becher
Yeah. And I didn't realize that we're walking to the same building for the next 15 minutes. And we just followed each other. Basically got to this building and I was like, well, if you want to be on my podcast, feel free to reach out. And you reach out. A year later, you did.

01:05
Indio Skinner
I think we ran into each other again.

01:07
Veronika Becher
Yes.

01:07
Indio Skinner
Though it was like. It was like it brought us back together after you had some more experience.

01:12
Veronika Becher
It was like, you need more experience to handle this. No, I'm joking. No, but that's. That was fantastic. And I was like, man, I really wanted to interview this person. Well, and then you were like, I actually have a topic. And I'm like, this is this move. We're just starting with it. We're going with the flow. Whatever happens in this episode. And dear listeners, be with us both. And I hope you guys enjoy it because this is definitely a different format than before. So maybe just introduce yourself who you are, maybe what you study, a fun fact about yourself. If anything, you want to drop us your first introduction.

01:51
Indio Skinner
Okay, cool. My name is Indio Skinner. I'm a junior, but I'm actually graduate. I'm a senior level, I guess. So I'm graduating pretty soon, I guess. Some interesting things about me. I have a muscular disorder. I've traveled to four different countries, and I do post content every day.

02:10
Veronika Becher
This is like, I didn't even know about the content. He just ended up sitting in the studio and he's like, whoa, I just create videos all the time. And I'm like, this is crazy. I just met another person that does something creative.

02:21
Indio Skinner
Yes.

02:22
Veronika Becher
And I love that. I really do. And you also said you have. So what. What are the videos about?

02:29
Indio Skinner
I do random interactions with strangers, like, centered around, like, self positivity and self love. So I'll ask. I'll like, approach People and ask them questions. And then I like, post the interactions, basically.

02:42
Veronika Becher
How did you come up with the idea? Like, what made you decide to do that?

02:45
Indio Skinner
Well, I've been posting content for about three years. Probably now two or three years. But I initially started with like, doing sort of like just filming myself and talking about thoughts I was having and sharing it with the world. And then eventually I was like, I kind of had to hype myself up and get like. I've always wanted to, like, ask other people. I've always been like a naturally, like, very curious person. So I'd ask people questions and then I was like, I want to like, start asking people these questions that I already asked and like, sharing it with the rest of the world. So, like, the impact gets like wider and more people hear about it and sort of start thinking about those things. So initially. So then I started like, doing interactions with people and slowly, like, built it up.

03:24
Veronika Becher
What certain topics do you touch on in your videos?

03:27
Indio Skinner
Yeah, so I usually ask. I almost. Almost every single video, I ask someone what their favorite thing about themselves is because I think it's a question a lot of people get stuck on. I've seen, like, people not be able to answer it. People get like, very flustered because it's like you don't usually think about, like, what you love about yourself. Usually are only focused on, like, the things you don't like. And so a lot of people get caught really off guard. But I'll ask other questions too. Like what made you smile today? What's something you wish more people knew about you? A bunch of questions, maybe.

03:58
Veronika Becher
Super random thought. Have you heard of. What is it? The Clifton strings test. You know, like, with the strings. Well, I went through like a leadership program once. I don't know, super sad quest thought that I just had in. One of the things they teach you is you need to focus more on your strengths. Where then rather than on your weaknesses. And a lot of times what you just said with. We focus so much on the negativity that surrounds us rather than the positivity that what do we do? Well, what is. So what is nice about us? Right. Something positive. And so this test actually does exactly the same thing. It's like, focus on your strengths because that's actually important to like, you should tap into them a lot more and be aware of what you're good at.

04:41
Indio Skinner
Yeah.

04:42
Veronika Becher
Rather than only focusing on the negative, like the weaknesses, what you're not good at. Where should I improve? I'm not good at math. Now I need to improve there, but rather be like, oh, I'm good at this. That means I need to actually work on it to make it even a better skill.

04:56
Indio Skinner
Yeah, actually, I agree with that partially. But I also do think that a big part of like, self acceptance and like true self love is finding the things you don't like and instead of hiding them and thinking that you need to improve them or you need to try and be more normal, you need to, like, let those things be shown. That was like, where the most growth in my life ever happened was I identified the things I loved about myself and then I identified the things that I didn't. And when I took the leap to show the things that I didn't like so much about myself, that was when I started really feeling like I was becoming like, indio. More of indio on the day to day.

05:29
Veronika Becher
A whole person.

05:31
Indio Skinner
Yeah, like. Or just more like authentically me, I would say. And like my. I started feeling like more direction and more like I was approaching new conversations, talking to people more as like, truly what who I am, rather than like, kind of like hiding parts of me and acting as like, what I thought normal was.

05:49
Veronika Becher
What is something, if you don't mind sharing, like a week, like a weakness or thing that you didn't like about yourself that you turn into actually something that made you feel full.

05:59
Indio Skinner
Yeah. So there's a couple. I'll give. One of them, like, relates to my disability because I can, like, walk like you just saw when I came in here. So I use a wheelchair with my disability for anyone listening. But I can also walk because it's a muscular disorder. So in high school, I used to leave my wheelchair in the hallway and then I would wait till everyone left the room at the end of class and then stand up and walk to my wheelchair outside the room. And in hopes that, like, people wouldn't really see my disability or notice that I had it, because I knew that people would treat me differently if they did. So I would hide that. And then I started, like, pushing against that and purposely showing it in a lot of contexts, mentioning it more.

06:37
Indio Skinner
A lot of my friends didn't even know what. They just thought my legs were weak or they didn't even know, like, what my disability was because it was something I just did not mention very much.

06:46
Veronika Becher
Can I ask what it is? Sorry for nothing.

06:48
Indio Skinner
No, no, you're good. It's called spinal muscular atrophy. SMA for short. So I have SMA type three. It's like the. It's like the one of the like least bad versions, I guess. Like, it's. I have more strength than like type 2 and 1 for most part. But yeah, it's a pretty rare muscular disorder.

07:05
Veronika Becher
Were you born with it already?

07:07
Indio Skinner
Yeah, I was born with it, but it's a. It's the type of one where. So as my body grew, my muscles didn't grow at the same pace. So like through middle school, when I was going through puberty and everything, I lost a lot of strength. I used to not even like, use a wheelchair, but because my body was like growing, it was a lot more support that my legs need to provide and they were not getting as strong as my. Is like what they needed to be for my body.

07:30
Veronika Becher
That's interesting. I feel like seeing. Well, I have epilepsy. I have like a completely different. It's like the one that it's like. It's called Rolando Epilepsy. And it's. I have a. It's also a muscle issue for me, but for me it's more like after I have one of my, like, I don't know, attacks, like my muscles tense up so I can't use them properly. So for the next day I feel like I can't walk properly and I need assistance the whole time. Or probably wheelchair, something like that. It was really interesting because it's like I've never met anyone who has it like on daily basis because for me it's just like a sporadic thing.

08:10
Indio Skinner
Yeah, that's really interesting. I've never heard of that before.

08:12
Veronika Becher
It's like my muscles cramp up whenever, like I go to bed or like the first like sleeping cycle and the last sleeping cycle are usually where it is. But it's also like, it can happen to people during the day. It just depends like what type of. Yeah, epilepsy type they have actually in the big picture. But that's just interesting because I feel like the muscle thing, it is kind of a struggle, right. Because there are moments where you like, you feel your body, but you don't at the same time. I don't know. Do you feel this way? It's.

08:41
Indio Skinner
It's a little different for me. It's not necessarily my muscles like tensing up like yours. I would say for me it's like I have like, I can walk, but I can just. Only walk like, just much shorter distance than a normal person. So it's pretty consistent. I do because my muscles are weaker. I have more swing from day to day. Like some days I can walk like a good bit farther, but like, it's still not. Like, I'm not going to be able to walk, like, across campus. Like, I can walk, like, through a building or I don't use. Like, I leave my wheelchair in my car all the time when I go inside because, like, I can walk around my house and stuff fine. But yeah, it's like.

09:15
Indio Skinner
It's a little more consistent than that, I would say, like, where, like, that kind of, like, sets you down. Like, you can't really, like, do a lot of things. Yeah.

09:22
Veronika Becher
Do you. Does it affect your whole body?

09:24
Indio Skinner
Yes.

09:24
Veronika Becher
All your muscles?

09:25
Indio Skinner
Then it affects my. My thighs are. It's kind of weird how SMA works. My thighs are, like, very weak in comparison to, like, a normal person. Whereas, like, certain. Like, my calves make up for the weakness in my thighs and are, like, pretty, like, normal strength. Maybe not normal, but, like, a lot stronger than the rest of my muscles. So, like, my arms are a lot weaker than the normal person, but they're not holding my whole body up so I can, like, still. It's not super noticeable.

09:52
Veronika Becher
Could you do sports with that?

09:54
Indio Skinner
Is that, like, really? No, no. It's a valid question. Not really. I never really have. I could. I could have probably done, like. Like, some of the, like, sports were, like. I can't remember what they're like. The term is. But, like, sports for people with disabilities. But I never really got into it. I used to play football some when I was, like, little. I just did. I'd be the quarterback, basically.

10:17
Veronika Becher
Beautiful. Yeah, yeah, no, that's actually. So you still had the experience, right, when you were younger, but it's just like, the older you grew, like, the less you could, you know, do it.

10:28
Indio Skinner
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, I can still throw football, but not super far. And, like, I can't stand for super long to, like, do it, so it's a little harder.

10:36
Veronika Becher
Is it? So I kind of digress with that by asking what the disability is, but do people treat you differently because of your disability?

10:44
Indio Skinner
I would say definitely. Like, that's why I try to hide it. People are, like, not in any bad way. I think people are just, like, extra nice. Like, extra nice. And it kind of. I think people also, like, are very. You don't run into people with, like, a, like, using a wheelchair, like, super often unless it's, like, it's not the most common thing. Especially, like, in high school, like, I was, like, the only per. There may have been, like, one other person. And so people don't really know how to, like. I feel like a lot of people get, like, a Little stunted on, like, how to interact with you sometimes. And so it's like. I don't know. I always had, like, a pressure that, like, people didn't want to, like, be friends with me as much.

11:19
Indio Skinner
And so, like, that's why I tried to be, like, as normal as possible in other, like, other aspects of my life. But I think it's like, as I've grown older, it's like, that's not really true. I think there are people that, like, aren't naturally gonna, like, want to, like. It's more just like they're unfamiliar. And it's. It was mostly because, like, I wasn't being myself. I was, like, acting as someone else. And it's like. And I. I didn't believe that they wanted to be friends with me. So, like, that shows. In. In your communication with people, would you.

11:46
Veronika Becher
Say you want people to treat you as a. Do you call disabled person or rather as a known person or just as a person the way you are? You know, I mean, I think the struggle. Sorry for.

11:57
Indio Skinner
No, go ahead.

11:57
Veronika Becher
I think the struggle is sometimes, you know, when you. People with down syndrome or like, other. Like, that has nothing to do with your disability, I always question it. Do I adjust myself? Like, how do you find equity or, like, equality in situations like that where you, like, do you create new rules for people with disabilities or do you treat them like normal human beings? What means normal human beings? That's not even the right term.

12:20
Indio Skinner
No, I don't. I don't mind. Yeah, I know what you mean, though. I would say, like, I think it's interesting because, like, I've never blamed anyone for being like X. Like, I. I think they're just trying to be nice. Like, there's no. There's no harm in that. I would say, like, the. I think what a lot of people with disabilities would prefer would be. It's. And I don't know, I can't speak for everyone, but, like, for me, like, I will. I would rather be treated, like, completely normal. And then if I need help with something, I'm just going to ask for help. Like, I'll, like, if I. If I get, like, stuck in a situation or like, something where I, like, I don't. I don't. I can't think of a situation off, like, off the top of my head.

12:56
Indio Skinner
But, like, I need someone to, like, I walk upstairs, I need someone to, like, carry my wheelchair up the stairs. Like, I can. I'll just ask someone for help. I mean, it's obviously nice if I. When once I get to know people if they just offer. But, like, I think people, like, people are, like, with disabilities, like, are. You learn very quickly to, like, ask for help a lot of times. I think that's something I, like, have been pretty strong at since I was, like, little. But I don't think I did it as much. I think I did it a lot when I was in school, like, with adults. Like, I would ask for help when I needed it, but I was scared to ask my peers. And that's something I've kind of been able to work on and feel more confident about.

13:32
Indio Skinner
I'll ask anyone for help when I need it.

13:34
Veronika Becher
Now, do you think that made you a more confident person, too?

13:38
Indio Skinner
Yes, I think it definitely did. I think it definitely contributed to my confidence. So I think it's a part of me that I'm. My disability is a part of me, and as much as it is a part of me. And I need to. I need to learn to fully embrace it as a part of me. Not let it define me, but embrace it as a part of me.

13:56
Veronika Becher
Do you think your relationships are still shaped in a different way because of your disability, or are people at this point of your life just treating you as any other human being that they interact with?

14:08
Indio Skinner
I think definitely there are relationships I have that are treated differently because of my disability. And I think, to a degree, most relationships are just because, like, it is. People just have a different. Like, they want to be extra nice. They want to. Like, they're a little more on guard sometimes about, like, what they, like, say or, like, they're gonna, like, try and, like, help you more than they would other people. But I would say, like, my closest. The people that I'm closest to in my life and, like, my closest friends, my closest relationships I have are all people that I found, like, don't really treat me different at all. And, like, I don't. Like, they don't. They help me when I need help, and they know what I need help with just because I've known them well, but they don't.

14:47
Indio Skinner
I'm just, like, seen as another normal person. Like, they don't treat me, like, differently.

14:52
Veronika Becher
Would you say, like, your condition will worsen over the years the more you, like, the more you grow up?

14:59
Indio Skinner
It depends. I'm not super sure because I'm on. I've been on medication, but it's. Most of the time, it's like, it stabilizes once you get through, like, your body growing. So, like, now that my body's not growing anymore, like, my strength has been pretty stable for, like, a while.

15:15
Veronika Becher
That's good. That's actually good to hear.

15:16
Indio Skinner
Yeah, it's really good. Yeah.

15:18
Veronika Becher
And I'm glad that you could able to. I'm glad that you were able to find people that understand you and treat you as a. Just a normal human being, because I feel like a lot of times people don't talk about disabilities. It's almost like you treat it as its own category, but when you tap into it, you notice how many people actually have disabilities that are not always visible. I feel like you have one that is more visible to the public, so people know it faster. But there are a lot of, like, hidden things that just people would know about one right when they meet you. Yeah.

15:51
Indio Skinner
So I think, like, yours, for example. Like, people might not know about that.

15:55
Veronika Becher
No, I don't think, like, many people do, but it's just. I feel like I struggled a lot of that, too, because my issue was I couldn't go for a sleepover with friends. Because every single time when I would do that, I'll be like, oh, no, what is if it happens? And.

16:09
Indio Skinner
Yeah, and then it's, like, more likely to. Maybe it's more likely to happen because you're worrying about it so much, you.

16:14
Veronika Becher
Know, Because I, like, my issue is, like, high emotions, like, really, like, worry or, like, really extreme emotions dictate the way I feel. So that affects me as a person a lot. And so the probability is higher that it happens if I like, feel really, like, nervous, stressed, etc.

16:31
Indio Skinner
Yeah.

16:32
Veronika Becher
And so I think at some point I started just, like, telling people about it. Whenever I would, like, sleep over at someone's place or, like, just hang out, I'm like, hey, by the way, just so you're aware, so you know what to do. And then I give people just a rundown. Like, my partner right now knows about it fully because I was like, at some point, I need to mention him and do that. And I'm like, yeah, just so you know, I'm not dying. Well, I could, but I treat it with some sarcasm. Right? Yeah. But, yeah, that is the thing. That is a thing. And it does affect you a certain way.

17:04
Indio Skinner
But, yeah, I think that's, like, the mission of why I do content. Like, what I'm, like, leading. Everything I do is. Because right now, like, I think you can get kind of trapped when you have, like, a lot of times it was like, when I was younger, it was like, why me? Like, why did I. Why was I, like, born with, like, this disability? And, like, I'm sure you've had similar, like, thoughts before, and it's easy to fall down that trap. But I think, like, one of the biggest realizations I had was, like, I have something that people can see a lot, and. And you see my disability. I can't really hide it per se. I mean, I tried to, but you can't really hide it to a full degree.

17:41
Indio Skinner
But I think my mission is everyone, regardless of if it's something more severe, whatever it is, people have insecurities. Almost every single person has insecurity. Even if it's something you can't put insecurities on a scale, mine's equal to yours and yours is equal to someone's who's. If you tried to, like, compare, like, the severity, it's like, yours is more severe, whatever, but, like, it's not really. You can't put them on severity levels because to that person, theirs is just as the same. And so, like, my mission is, like, to help people, like, reveal those things and, like, feel comfortable with those insecurities and those parts of themselves that they, like, don't love.

18:22
Veronika Becher
Do you? You said there's the other, like, insecurities that you had to face in your life were worthy. I feel like we just digressed into one. And then I was like, we need to go back into this one.

18:33
Indio Skinner
Yeah. Yeah. I would say, like, a small one that, like, is very small, but just, like, was kind of, like, part of the way that I. Because I had my disability, every other part of my life, I tried to be, like, as normal as possible, I think. And so, like, one of them is, like, I have really odd music tastes like, it's not. It's not necessarily odd, but, like, I listen to, like, I love my, like, white girl, like, 2016 music. And I was. I was very embarrassed about that, in all honesty, for a lot of my life. And I didn't really tell people what I listened to. And it's like a small thing that's, like, fun to laugh about. But, like, I actually.

19:05
Indio Skinner
It was something I had to, like, learn to, like, push myself or, like, I was, you know, I was scared to, like, go and talk to people initially and, like, be the person who talks them, because a lot of times, like, it's less likely someone's gonna come and talk to me initially because there's, like, a. They're a little nervous about, like, the whole disability. Like, it makes it a little more nerve wracking to go talk to someone. And so I would, like. I had to learn to, like, be the one who goes to talk to people initially and, you know, all of those things. And, like, I've. For a lot of my life, I, like, I love plants, like, and I didn't tell a lot of people about my, like, plant love.

19:38
Indio Skinner
Like, I did, like, do terrariums all the time and, like, collect moss and, like, do all these things. Like, I used to, like, grow a ton of succulents. And, like, all those things were, like, kind of, like, weird, but, like, they're not. Like, those are the things that, like, make you unique.

19:52
Veronika Becher
Can I make a joke?

19:53
Indio Skinner
Yeah, go for it.

19:54
Veronika Becher
I love how you just caught me indirectly. Also weird, because I do the same thing, actually.

19:59
Indio Skinner
Oh, I love it. I love it.

20:01
Veronika Becher
I'm. I, like, I. I don't know, my room is full of plants. Like, I propagate them all the time and things like that.

20:08
Indio Skinner
I love it.

20:08
Veronika Becher
And it's just funny how you were like, oh, yeah, it's maybe a weird thing, but I'm like, yeah, that is definitely maybe a weird thing.

20:16
Indio Skinner
Well, I think, like, you realize, though, as you. That's one thing I love about, like, college and, like, growing older and realizing you realize it's not a weird thing. Like, everyone is just, like, wanting to do their, like, passions. And, like, weird is like, if it's a weird thing, I just think it's good. Like, that's like. If it's unique, it's like, something good. Like, that's what makes you different. And, like, being different is, like, what we should be chasing, because you can't have a society where, like, everyone's the same. It's like, I think, like, with social media and, like, everything, we're, like, very much so, like, propagating, like, a. Trying to be, like, a certain way. Everyone's trying to, like, go for a certain goal. They're trying to, like, make themselves look a certain way.

20:52
Indio Skinner
And, like, everything's, like, trying to go towards a certain path. And when reality, like, we should be, like, building our own paths. Like, we're humans. We have different. We have different goals. Like, everyone's pursuing different things.

21:03
Veronika Becher
I think we're somewhere in between, just because on the one hand, there's a whole bunch of people that are like, I'm not like all the other people. You know, it's almost also a trend that I've been seeing, like, even in relationships, I feel like that's the thing that I've been seeing people being like, oh, I'm not like all these other girls, right? I'm different. I'm like, you know, Special, but I don't know if I would even call it special. But I realize since it goes into both ways, it's somewhere in between. It's realizing we can pursue our own path and pursue what we are passionate about. And we should do that not because other people are doing it, but because you're interested in it and you want to design your life the way you want to live it.

21:44
Veronika Becher
Because in the end of the day, I always think about that maybe no one will remember you. So it was actually your life that you were, you know, you were leading the whole time. But on the other hand, realizing that we do have commonalities like plant love.

21:59
Indio Skinner
Yeah, there we go.

22:01
Veronika Becher
And that makes you feel maybe less lonely because that means you're not just by yourself existing in the world, having all these crazy ideas and thoughts. But there are other people that maybe have similar crazy thoughts or similar hobbies. And it's like finding communities and the small things you love, but at the same time pursuing the things you want to do.

22:21
Indio Skinner
I couldn't agree with that more. Like, I think that's why, like, it's so important to be more open about those things. Because, like, if I wasn't open about the fact that I love plants, like, we would have never connected on the fact we both love plants. And, like, that's so important because that's how you find, like, the people. Like, when you connect on something you're very passionate about, that's how you find the people that you like really connect with on a deeper level than you can with a lot of certain people, you know, because, like, you are finding those smaller communities. And I just think it's like, yeah, it's a beautiful thing. Beautiful thing. I think you're completely on point with the social media, because I think it does. I think it goes both ways.

22:56
Indio Skinner
And that's part of what makes it a good and a bad thing. It allows people to show and find their niche community. But at the same time, it's pushing a lot of pressure on a lot of people to be a certain way.

23:08
Veronika Becher
But I think what's sometimes missing is the ground or the opportunity of people pursuing what they love. Because society demands a certain norm. And I think if the freedom isn't given to you to do whatever you want and you feel like every single time you do it, you get judged. But you do care about it. Well, I mean, you can have confidence in, like, I don't care. Right. Why should I care what other people think? And we shouldn't in most Times. But it still bothers you, right, if someone always comments on the way you dress. I don't know. Or something like that. It is sometimes difficult, right, because you need to, again, adhere to other norms that are given by society, even though you want to be someone else.

23:49
Indio Skinner
Yeah, no, I totally agree. I definitely agree. So, like, what is your. What's, like, your dream you're working towards?

23:55
Veronika Becher
My dream?

23:56
Indio Skinner
Yeah.

23:57
Veronika Becher
Like, in what field?

23:59
Indio Skinner
Just, like, overall, like, what are you working, like, what are you, like, motivated to work towards?

24:04
Veronika Becher
I think I want to leave. I mean, I know a lot of people say that, but I want to leave an impact. But I think impact in a way, it doesn't have to be grand. Something that I feel like I get inspired about is when I see people being really passionate about one small thing and at least influencing one person. And I think that's my goal sometimes. That's why my podcast exists. I feel like reaching people. And there's this idea. I. I don't know. I read about it years ago.

24:35
Veronika Becher
There used to be a Japanese traveler, like, adventurer who would travel the world in, like, the 70s, I think, and he would do, like, create this, like, installation that is like a cube, and he's sitting inside and drinking tea, and he would put this up in different countries and let other people sit down next to him and drink tea. And so if they would speak the same language or would be able to communicate, they would talk to each other about their life. And I think the idea of being someone who's open to new, like, experiences, new stories and new people, I think that's my pursuit and maybe being able to help through. Even, like, in a small community, you don't have to be a social worker.

25:18
Veronika Becher
But I feel like even just talking to someone through communication might be a significant impact on their lives.

25:26
Indio Skinner
I love that. That's really cool. You're gonna have to find and send me that story. I'm gonna have to look at that later because that's actually really cool. Yeah, I think that's beautiful. I think it's like, we very much so underestimate the impact we have, even on a daily level, just on other people's lives that we interact with. Even if it's something small, you have a huge impact on the people you interact with on a daily. And that's like. That's a beautiful thing. Like, there may be no recognition there may. That you may never speak to the person again, or, like, nothing happens with them. But, like, that person, even if they don't remember you or anything, like, that person, like, their lives, like, has shifted or even just their day, like, that day has became better because of you.

26:07
Indio Skinner
And, like, that's a really awesome thing. I think it's very easy to, like, get sucked into our own lives nowadays and just, like, go out, go. Go throughout the day without interacting with people or, like, a minimal level and just kind of, like, do your own thing. And, like, that's not. That's not what we're. Like, we're human. We're meant to, like, have community, like you were saying, and, like, go out there and, like, have an impact on people. Like, if everyone did that, then, you know, the world would be a much more beautiful place.

26:34
Veronika Becher
I think a lot of times when people ask, what do you do? You always bring up your career. But I think your life purpose or whatever you want to pursue in life doesn't have to equate back to your career. It doesn't have to be. It can be connected to it, but you don't have to be. I don't know, you don't have to pursue certain career and be like, I'm a doctor. That's what I want to do. You can. That can be maybe your purpose in life, but I don't think it has to be connected to your career. Like, your identity can be, like, a much more, like, broader sense. I mean, that's literally the podcast identity, right? Library. And I don't know, it's really interesting. You actually made me talk more on my own podcast right now.

27:18
Veronika Becher
But being like, a foreigner in a different culture, in a different country makes you feel odd a lot of times because people judge you and people are nice to you. It's both ways. Some people think you can't even speak at all a language. They, like, transgress into, like, oh, you're like a first grader. So I have to speak really slowly.

27:40
Indio Skinner
Oh, yeah.

27:41
Veronika Becher
And it happened to me several.

27:42
Indio Skinner
So irritating.

27:44
Veronika Becher
Happened to me several times. I even was once at a dinner, and I didn't know the people there. I got invited to this dinner, and the guy who was sitting across from me would always, like, point out my accent. It would be like. So, yeah, Veronica, I'm sorry, I really don't understand what you're saying. I think it's your accent. It's just a little bit too thick, and I just can't pick up what you're saying at all. Could you repeat that, please? Oh, sorry. I don't think you know that word. And for, like, the whole next, like, two hours, you. That continuously do that, and you just ignore that. You learn how to, like, deal with it. But the thing. The beautiful thing about being a foreigner, you see also opportunities that people might, you know, like, you can bring to the table.

28:25
Veronika Becher
I was a camp counselor, and the interesting thing was I was the first foreign person these kids ever met. They never had the experience of meeting someone from a different culture. Culture or a different country. And I was like, man, this is. This is beautiful. This is like, I may be the first person. I'm not a good representation of every person out there, but it is something that I can make people exposed to because of my existence, because I'm different, but I'm not at the same time. Yeah, but what about you?

28:56
Indio Skinner
I feel like I have to speak one more thing on that. I just want to say, like, I think that is, like, so beautiful because, like, that's, like, what were talking about. Like, those kids, they may not remember you down the line, or, like, they might not. Like, they're probably not going to remember your face or, like, who you are. They might not remember your name or any of that, but, like, you being there and their first experience meeting someone who's, like, not from here and, like, different is, like, that could have impacted their lives in a much bigger way than, like, you think. And that's just. That's a beautiful thing. I just don't think. I think a lot of times it's very easy to be, like, I like the goal of, like, impact. And then, like, I want to be, like, remembered.

29:32
Indio Skinner
And I think, like, I digress to, like, that mindset sometimes, but, like, I really appreciate, like, the just being able to, like, realize, like, I've had an impact on these people and they might not remember who I am, but, like, I've had an impact on them in some way, even if it's, like, small. And, like, that's just a. That's a very powerful thing. I think that's really cool.

29:53
Veronika Becher
Thank you. And I think what I think all the time is, how do I want to be remembered? It's less like, in a big picture. It's more. If I interact with people, of course, not everyone will like you. That's normal. That happens, right? You might not like someone else back, and you might not leave an impact at all because maybe the person's not even listening to you. They ask you a question, and they never actually listen to your answer. And I think the impact is, how do you want to be remembered by people that are close to you? Like, what is it that you think you would love to have as a trade. And I think working towards these things and working towards these goals is something that I try to pursue.

30:29
Veronika Becher
I don't know if other people do that, but I think that's an important thing to do.

30:34
Indio Skinner
How do you think you balance being able to build, like, the. I, like, become the person that you want to be remembered amongst the people that you care about most? Like, you're saying, but how do you balance that while also, like, keeping traits that you think are true to you? So I don't know if that makes a ton of sense, but what I mean is, when I'm trying, let's say I want to be. I'm trying to think of a good term, but if I want to be a certain way, how do I know if that's what I truly want to be and how I truly want to be remembered or what I think I should be remembered for? And kind of following the trends because I think it's very easy to fall into, oh, this friend. Like, I really love how they treat people.

31:15
Indio Skinner
I really love this trait about them. Like, I want to be more like that, but that might not be true to who you are. And so if you start working towards, like, that, it's like, kind of, like going away from, like, who you really should be.

31:27
Veronika Becher
But I think the question is our own being a fluid thing, or are we already predestined to be a certain way?

31:35
Indio Skinner
Oh, interesting topic.

31:38
Veronika Becher
Because that's a. That's just the thing. If you're predestined to be a certain way, like, let's say you get nervous every single time when you speak in front of people. I don't know. And you say that's who I am. I, like, I'm introvert. I can speak in front of people. Well, does that mean you can never be able to achieve a certain, like, outcome? Or does it mean that's how you are and you should just embrace it? And I think maybe the answer is somewhere in between. You need to be aware. Like you said previously, you need to be aware of your weaknesses. You're not good in public speaking, but you want to better in public speaking. And then I think the question now comes up, why do you want to better?

32:24
Indio Skinner
And I think that's the important question of, like, yeah, like, why do you want to better? Because if you want to better just so that other people see you as, like, someone who's better at speaking versus you want to better because you just want to better at it. And it's something that you care about being good at. Those are completely different terms. I know plenty of people who aren't good at public speaking and have no interest in it. But if one of those people turns around and then they're feeling pressure from outside forces that they need to be good at it. And public speaking is kind of a weird topic because for certain careers, you might just need to be good at public speaking.

33:02
Indio Skinner
But if you expand it to other personality types or like, things like that, it's like, that's where it's like, very interesting. I like that idea of, like, predestined versus, like, fluid.

33:12
Veronika Becher
And then. But then you can digress. Maybe, I don't know, maybe you need to do a root cause analysis. Like, I feel too business, like, right now, but you know what I mean? Maybe you need to understand, okay, why do you want to be actually a good public speaker? Maybe the reason why you want to be like that is because you admire a person or you want to be like someone else, but you actually don't want to embrace your own weaknesses or your own. You don't want to see your strengths, the things you're good at and the things you're bad at. You just want to be like someone else.

33:40
Veronika Becher
Maybe you're jealous of someone else, or maybe you actually just want to, I don't know, be more confident in what you are saying to other people because you think the topic you're trying to present is really important to the world. I don't know.

33:53
Indio Skinner
Yeah, exactly. And like, if you have a. If you have a message you want to spread and like, you want to become a speaker to spread it, like, yes, public speaking, you kind of do need to be good at that because that's. It's important to be able to speak in a way that invokes the message that you're trying to, like, give. But so I think it, like, depends on, like, with everything you do, it's just like, yeah, like, just continue asking, like, the why, you know, like the. I don't know where it came from, but, like, the ask why, like, four times and see where it gets you.

34:19
Veronika Becher
I think it is, like,

34:23
Indio Skinner
I think it is, but, like, it works for, like, yeah, like, pretty much anything. And like, I think it's, like, very important to, like, do that when you're kind of pursuing something to, like, be able to find out if it's, like, actually something that you're, like, intrinsically motivated to do or if it's something that, like, you're kind of feeling external forces pushing you to do it.

34:40
Veronika Becher
Yes. And I think. And then I think the question comes up. How much does your environment dictate how you should be? And how much does your environment dictate how you become in the end of the day, too? So if you grow up in a household that is, I don't know, your dad is an alcoholic. I'm sorry, like, just an example, and your mom is not there for you at all, doesn't mean that you will be also an alcoholic. You know what I mean? And that's, I think, a really tricky situation because there's a really fine line between how much will your household actually shape you into who you are? Will you pursue a degree because your parents push you into it or because you want to get out of it?

35:20
Veronika Becher
Like, what certain influences appear in our life that actually shape us and make us the person that we are?

35:28
Indio Skinner
Yeah, I mean, it's nature versus nurture. Like, the big discussion that we've never been able to, like, fully find out. Like, I don't. I don't know. It's a. It's a hard one. Like, I mean, objectively, like, your environment plays a huge role in what you do. Like, there's been, like, studies behind that. Like, it does a lot. But, you know, there's. There's certain people who have, like, a very similar childhood, and it's like they both start off in the same way and they have, like, a very similar. Like, even, like, twins, for example. Like, there's been studies on twins, and, like, they end up going in completely different directions. Is that. Is that because of their environment per se? You can't really say that it fully is because they went in different directions. Like, there's.

36:04
Indio Skinner
I think there is an innate human part of us that's, like, kind of there. And, like, I think it does influence. But that being said, like, there's a big side of it that is, you know, on the environment. If you're born in an environment, your family is, like, all doing, like, bad things. Like, you're more likely to go down that path because those are the people you're looking up to, and those are the people who are, like, influencing you as you grow up. So, yeah, it's a very interesting, like, topic, though.

36:29
Veronika Becher
And then the question is there a role model that might support you or get you out of there?

36:35
Indio Skinner
Yeah.

36:35
Veronika Becher
Like, what is if you don't have anyone to look up to just because of the circumstances you're in and you're searching for one, but you don't because no one believes in you. Because you just give up on yourself. And I think that's also important. I have a really good friend of mine who was studying in Germany with me, and something he said to me that literally stuck with me till today is the biggest probably changes that people go through is when something extreme happens. Like, it can be anything, like your life crisis. It doesn't have to be like, something grand that you will see outside, but it can be, I don't know, you know, you're not sure about where to go next.

37:14
Veronika Becher
You finish your degree, you don't know what to do, or maybe, I don't know, someone dies in your family, like something extreme. And whenever something like that happens, you are facing this question, will you move on? Will you change something or will you accept it? And I think people grow through actually difficult times and they evolve more and they become better people because you. They're out of their comfort zone. And when they are in front of this decision, I think if you make the decision to stay where you are because it's comfortable, you just stick with it and you, like, accept your faith. And I think that's why you don't evolve and you don't become a person you want to be. But if you face the issue and you're like, okay, I need to choose something, I need to do something.

37:58
Veronika Becher
I need to change the way I behave around people because I want to be a different person, that's where I think your willpower will actually get you there.

38:07
Indio Skinner
And I think a deeper question even to go off that is, what makes a person have the ability to come out of a really hard situation and say, I want to change versus I'm gonna accept it and stay in that zone. Is that something that you're born with or is that something that's influenced by how you were raised? I don't know, and maybe it's both. But I like to speak on the side of. I think it's really interesting with role models because I had a speaker come into my club recently, and he was saying how for all of his life, he was horrible at school and didn't believe himself. He didn't think he could do anything with his life. He thought he was below everyone else.

38:44
Indio Skinner
Because that's kind of like the way that, like, if you're not good at school, it kind of like, leads you in that direction of, like, not feeling like you can do anything. I've seen it with, like, friends of mine a ton. And all it took was one teacher who was like, you're not gonna fail this class and pushed him and like, made him believe that he could do it. And from then on, he went to, like, be a super successful business person and, like, do awesome things that like, a lot of people would, like, only dream of doing. And it was all because of one person in his life. And I think that speaks on, you know, like, what were saying, like, that you can be that one person for people and you don't even.

39:19
Indio Skinner
And you cannot even realize it a lot of times. And maybe it's not for their whole life, but maybe it's for the day or the week that you give them the motivation to go, you know, do the thing that they weren't going to do if you weren't there. And like, that's a. That's just. I think it's like, very powerful to just live your life realizing that and like, initially, like, when you come into interaction, if you're having a bad day, use the bad day to, like, help someone else. And like, then your day gets better because you're like, do something kind or do something that helps someone else. And like, that's. I don't know, that's. I feel like that gets me out of like, the dumps when I'm in it sometimes.

39:50
Veronika Becher
I also. Sometimes when I got diagnosed with the whole epilepsy thing, but also I realized that I have really weak nervous system. So whenever I'm really stressed, I. My circulation completely. Like, I have really low blood sugar, but I don't have diabetes. But it is a different type. That is your body produces too much cortisol. You can't handle it and you can like, faint, like, things like that. And I was like, man, how do you go through life like that? Because I was. When I moved here under such high stress all the time that I just couldn't eat anything because I was nauseous. That it was one of the side effects. And I was like, for probably four months, I went on not eating anything. I was like, just losing weight like crazy because I just. I couldn't eat anything.

40:34
Veronika Becher
I was like, how do you live like that? You feel really bad every single morning. You have a bad time every single day. And I realized there's something about the moment I, like, I got out of it was I live day by day because I knew I can't plan ahead with this condition. And it's like, you wake up in the morning, you don't feel well. Does that mean tomorrow will be the same way? Probably not. And that's the mindset that shifted It. Because when you realize. When you asked me the question, right, you said, when, what happens? When. How do you get out of really bad situation? Well, if you had previous experiences that it always happened a certain way. Well, there are two options. One, you're doing always the same thing. That's why it doesn't get you out.

41:20
Veronika Becher
You trying to fix a car with the same, like, process every single time, and it doesn't fix it means that you need to fix it somewhere else. And that's what makes it. Or the other thing is you just have to stop thinking about your past being as the indicator what's going to happen in the future. Like, I feel like I'm a business person right now in like, supply chain and being like, your historic data doesn't predict your forecasting, but that's how I feel. And I think I was just living day by day. So I wake up in the morning, I don't feel well. Okay, it's fine. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna be feeling the same way tomorrow. So I wake up the next day, oh, today is a good day. So that means maybe tomorrow will be also a good day.

42:01
Veronika Becher
So you just don't think about it. You just hope that the next day you wake up will better.

42:07
Indio Skinner
That's really interesting. I really like that. Like, the power of living now. Yeah, I read a whole book on that and it's really cool. Yeah, I think that's like a. That's just an amazing thing. I would say, like, how were you able to. You went like months of town, like, where like every day kind of was like, pretty similar. Like, you wake up not feeling great, not able to eat much. Like, how do you after months, like, shift and be like, okay, like, every day for the past four months or three months or whatever has not been good. But how do you. How did you go about shifting the mindset to like, maybe tomorrow will better?

42:40
Veronika Becher
I think that's. It is kind of difficult, but I think it's. No one else can help you. And I think a lot of times when you go through hard times, you have this victim mentality too. I don't know if you've experienced that even with your disability. It's like you sometimes even search for someone to help you out of it. And like, maybe someone can fix me. Like, I don't know, going to a doctor, maybe the doctor will fix my issue and then I don't have this issue anymore. But the issue is that you put the. You put yourself out there, like, you helpless and Someone will help you, and you searching for this person, and you think that you can't help yourself. But a lot of times it's you who needs to do the work and accept it.

43:19
Veronika Becher
It's like after a breakup, like, super random question, like, example, like, someone, your friends are telling you should not be with this person, stop being with this person. But till you actually make the decision, you will still hung up and be hung up on that person. I think it's realizing you have much more power than you might think over your, like, brain, over your mindset. And it's not easy, and it's not gonna shift on the same day. But what I did, I created routines. I created routines where, like, I wake up much earlier than I usually do, and I, like, shower in the morning because I know that helps with my, like, circulation and drink a tea.

43:58
Veronika Becher
And this sounds really odd, but because I had these routines, it felt like I was more grounded because I stuck with my routines every morning, no matter how I felt. And that brought in certain habits that helped me, like, get through the day. Because I would do certain things every single time, over and over again. And at some point, I wouldn't think about it. I would just do it. And I'm like, oh, I feel better if I do this. Let's just do it and continue working through it.

44:24
Indio Skinner
That's pretty awesome. That's a really cool story.

44:27
Veronika Becher
I feel like now it became the episode about Veronica's life. No, but how about you? I feel like I asked you the question, and you were like, I need to ask you something.

44:38
Indio Skinner
I do not remember what the question is.

44:39
Veronika Becher
And my brain is, like, right now working already for 50 minutes, thinking I wanted to know that answer to. To his answer. How do you. How do you feel? Like, what helps you to get through the day when you have a hard time?

44:55
Indio Skinner
For me, it's like I. I bounce around a lot. Like, with, like, my days bounce a lot. I feel like, some days I'll be feeling really on top of the world, and some days I'm, like, a little stagnant. It goes, like, very day by day. I feel like that's just, like, how I am. I get very excited about things and get really motivated for it. But I think for me, it's something I think I need to work on, is sort of accepting that some days I'm just not gonna feel as good. And I think I have a tendency to. When I feel really good or I feel very motivated and very passionate, I set that bar at the very top.

45:33
Indio Skinner
And Then when the next day comes and I don't feel as motivated, I start beating myself up over the fact that I, like, I'm not at that same level that I was. And so, like, it's. It's been like a big thing. It was just, like, accepting that, like, I'm not gonna feel like it when. When emotions hit me or whatever. Like, if I wake up and I just don't feel as good or I feel extra stressed or something, like, just accepting that's okay and moving on with my day and then knowing, like. Like you were saying, like, exactly what you're saying, like, knowing tomorrow could be completely different. And that's just, like, how it is.

46:05
Veronika Becher
There's this Russian saying that people say all the time. Whenever you. Like a proverb, whenever you have a bad dream, you basically say that you have to say the saying. It's like the night will. Like, the night will go, or, like, the day will go and you will move on type of thing. And what it means is just not every night will be the same. And so next night, you might not have a bed dream anymore. So that's just the idea behind it, at least.

46:36
Indio Skinner
How do you say it?

46:37
Veronika Becher
My brain is, like, shutting down on languages right now. I'm like, no, this is bad. What means where the night goes, There the dream goes too.

46:49
Indio Skinner
Oh, I love that.

46:50
Veronika Becher
Because a day can repeat, but a night probably won't.

46:53
Indio Skinner
Yeah.

46:54
Veronika Becher
So the dream goes where the night goes to.

46:58
Indio Skinner
Dang, I love that. That's awesome.

47:00
Veronika Becher
So I think that's how you sometimes need to see the Tate day too. Especially when you have a routine. It's really bad. Imagine you have, like, the same routine every single week through schoolwork or work in general. And then you, like, feel like you just feel unmotivated and you feel bad every single time. But I think what we. And that's a different topic a little bit. But I think what happens over time when people get older, they fall into this routine and they don't try new things. And because they don't change up their routine, what happens? They just get into this monotone feeling of everything is the same and I don't feel happy all the time or the. What I have sometimes, and I don't know how to deal with that.

47:39
Veronika Becher
Sometimes I chase the happiness of doing something that is so unexpected or outside the box that I get upset when it's not the case.

47:49
Indio Skinner
Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Like, you can't always, like, challenge yourself or, like, do something that's, like, as, like, as crazy. Or new. Yeah. Like, it's like, yeah. If you don't have that, it feels like something's wrong.

48:00
Veronika Becher
Yeah. Like, no side quest for the day. Like, your weekend is just bland. You do study. You feel like, oh, I didn't do anything. And then you search for, is there an event? Can I do something? And then nothing comes up, and you get super frustrated. You're like, this is just like a normal Sunday.

48:14
Indio Skinner
Yeah.

48:14
Veronika Becher
You know, and I think. I don't know. Have you ever experienced something like that?

48:18
Indio Skinner
I definitely think that's, like, something I. I honestly, I really admire people who, like, chase that every day. I think I do it on a much smaller scale, and I definitely, like, do it, but I don't know. I. Yeah, I think I want to, like, chase more, like, experiences. Like, I. One of my biggest goals is, like, I really want to, like, travel and, like, do a solo travel and go to a different country. Just because I think it's, like, a very. It would be. I think it would be a very hard experience for me, but I think it'd be, like, very good.

48:45
Veronika Becher
I feel like I remembered now and I asked what you asked me. You asked me, what is the purpose, like, my purpose in life, or rather, what am I chasing in life? And I was like, I want to know what you're chasing in life. And then you, like, partially answered, maybe,

48:58
Indio Skinner
Like, that's more of just. I think that's a step to what I'm chasing. But I think what I'm chasing is to be able to, like, sort of what we talked about earlier. Like, I just want to help as many people as possible, like, have some of those realizations that I've been able to have that have helped me accept, like, who I am. And a lot of the things that I don't necessarily love about myself. Like, my big thing is you have to identify what you love about yourself and then show the world the things you don't love about yourself, because those are usually the things that, like, hold you back from being, like, truly you. I think that's my opinion on it. And I, like, that's. That's my goal. And I think for me to be able to do that, like, I have to.

49:35
Indio Skinner
Part of what I want to do in my growing and, like, growing as a person is like, putting myself in those uncomfortable positions of, like, going to a new place where I don't know anyone, I don't know how to speak the language or anything like that. And, like, being very uncomfortable. And, like, a lot of those insecurities. I Have would come back up if I went to a new place where I don't feel as comfortable. Like, I know how to interact with people, like, in the US and, like, around here, like, very well. Like, I'm used to it. Obviously. There's ways I can push myself, but, like, I push myself all the time with content. But, like, there's.

50:10
Indio Skinner
There's something about, like, going to a new country and somewhere that I'm, like, so unfamiliar with, and I'm so, like, by, like, alone in it that, like, a lot of those insecurities that are, like, repressed but, like, still there. Like, I've worked a lot on them, but they're still there, are gonna, like, come back up. And I think that would be the step I need to take to, like, finally be able to, like, let go of them. So, like, I think it'd be really hard for me for, like, a couple weeks or a couple months, and then I would, like. Then I would, like, be able to finally let go of, like, these insecurities that are, like, still there in little pieces.

50:43
Veronika Becher
That's interesting. I was, like, never thinking about the cultural difference that comes with your insecurities, because I think my insecurity was already speaking a foreign language to begin with. That was the thing. But then when I moved, I realized that the insecurity can be mitigated completely, maybe even eliminated in the big picture. And this kind of a thing, like, being true to yourself. Like, I love talking to people. Like, I really like communication in general with strangers, but I get really nervous sometimes. Well, I used to. I used to be so introverted. Oh, my gosh. I was the most introverted kid in middle school, and I realized how much I love talking to people. But I'm scared. And I think that is an example maybe, of things you want to do and how you want to be, even though you don't have it yet.

51:32
Indio Skinner
Exactly. I was thinking the same thing. Like, back on what were talking about a second ago, like, you changed that because you want. It was something you love doing, but you, like, need to grow a lot to be able to do.

51:43
Veronika Becher
And I think that's the same with strengths. I think a lot of times people forget it's not about talent. Like, you know when people say you're such a good public speaker? Well, I've worked on it. It's not like you are born with everything you think, even with your talents that you're born with. Yeah, maybe it's easier, but I think your strength equates talent plus work.

52:02
Indio Skinner
Yeah. 100.

52:04
Veronika Becher
You may be just more ahead than others just because you have a talent for something more than or like it is your strength. But that doesn't mean that you don't have to put in work.

52:13
Indio Skinner
Yeah, I totally agree.

52:15
Veronika Becher
So that's just something that. And then, you know, you'd always talk about things that you don't like about yourself. Right? And you said you should embrace it, but what is if you embrace it, but people always correct you and tell you don't, why are you worried about that you're perfect, then you got.

52:33
Indio Skinner
To do it more. And I think you're not around. Like, I think there's a difference between showing something you don't like and having like showing in a way where you're looking for people to tell you that it's actually okay and that it's not something you should be worried about versus showing it in a way that's. I'm showing it, I'm not expecting anyone to tell me anything about it. But it's more. I'm showing it because I know that I need to show it and that I need to realize in myself that it's not impacting these relationships the same way that I think it would or it is impacting some people's relationships.

53:06
Indio Skinner
And that's your way of being like, okay, these are not the people that I need to be around and finding the people that you do really want to be around and really see you for you. Because I also think as much as we have so many strengths as people and we have so many things that we really like, love, but those are almost always built in part because of the things that we don't as much or the insecurities that we have. Like, they go together. And so it's like if you're just showing one and you're just showing the things you love, like you're leaving out a part of you. And so I don't think you can fully be there and be present. So, like, I guess I kind of like long winded answered that.

53:40
Indio Skinner
But I don't think if people are saying it like, it doesn't matter if they say it's not something or you're perfect how it is or whatever, if it bothers you, then you need to show more people. And it doesn't really correlate to what other people think. It's just about what you think about it. I could go and show my disability and have a bajillion people say, oh, yeah, I don't care about that. That's not why I do it. I show it because I need to know that's not happening just on. It's just. You're just doing it for you at the end of the day. You know what I mean?

54:14
Veronika Becher
Yes. And I think it is such an important point that you brought up with. Maybe you're not around the right people because people forget about that. We're so worried all the time. It's. I know I bring up like, the relationship examples, but it's the same thing. You trying to hide yourself and your true self to your partner is counterproductive. You might stay in a relationship you're not supposed to be in because the person doesn't actually love you for who you are, but rather for a version that you created. Or we create a version of a partner because we ignore all the red flags that someone has. And they don't have to be red flags in general. They just might not fit you as a person. Right.

54:51
Indio Skinner
And that's completely fine. And I think that's. That's something that took a long time for me to realize. And I think a lot of people, like, it's very hard to realize that, like, you. You're not gonna click with everyone. Like, and you're not meant to click with everyone. And that's like you. By letting go of some people, you allow other people to get much closer relationships with. On, you know, on romantic relationships, friendships, whatever type of relationship. Like, being able to not be able fit with everyone is how you're able to fit really well with certain people.

55:22
Veronika Becher
But also, I think it comes with a certain bias, a confirmation bias maybe, that if you are surrounded by people that are like you and they think like you don't see other perspectives. So I think what I like to do a lot of times, and maybe this podcast, is a ground for that, too, to invite people that I don't always agree with. Even if it's noticeable for every listener, I might disagree with certain views. Like, I don't have anything like in this episode, but, like, in general, it might happen. Right. And I think it's important, too, because a lot of times we grow. We have our friends, we have the people around you.

55:57
Veronika Becher
You know the saying I've mentioned previously in an episode here, the five closest people, there's a theory are the people that actually dictate or show who you are as a person. They're like a combination of all the traits just in. In five different human beings, if that makes sense, that make you. You. So if you're surrounded by people that don't encourage you, that it can't be role models, that can't be actually doing the things you want to strive towards to that don't have the same values. You might not the right group, but if all the values you surround with, all the people with the values are the same, you might never see other.

56:30
Indio Skinner
Values that are there 100%. You are like spot on with that. I love. That's why I love talking with people who disagree with me. It's like the most fun. And I think that you can also. Some of the people would disagree a lot. I think it's like in order to find the people that you really connect with, I think you can connect with people very strongly that are completely different than you.

56:51
Veronika Becher
Oh.

56:52
Indio Skinner
But I don't think that you can connect with them as strongly if you haven't defined fully who you are. So that's what I mean. Like, if you're like, you have to kind of explore yourself and be able to accept yourself before you can find like any of the people. The people that really agree with how you are, but also the people that are super different but you click with really well. Like, some of my closest friends are not even slightly like me. And those are the people I've grown like the most from being like around and like being friends with.

57:21
Veronika Becher
And maybe that's even a good thing because they balance out certain things that you maybe don't have. But that doesn't mean you need to have these traits. You have other people around you that do have it. You have this one friend who will tell you to your face that this one T shirt looks really ugly on you. And you need this one person. If you can't be the person, you have to find a person that will.

57:40
Indio Skinner
Do that for you. Yeah.

57:41
Veronika Becher
And I think there is also a misconception about people disagreeing with your opinion or with your views. And as this thing of you need to be respectful towards each other, you need to have certain values and boundaries that are set in order to ensure that you can have actually the discourse between each other. Talking about something that is maybe controversial in a lot of times, I think that's not there because you think that I'm attacking you personally as an individual with my opinion and because I'm disagreeing with you, I need to win you over. Like, you need to have my opinion too. But I think the curiosity that you maybe mentioned to leads to trying to understand why people think the way they think doesn't mean that they need to think like you.

58:22
Veronika Becher
They can be their own whole being with their own ideas and thoughts and whatever values. And you too. But you can still get inspired by it, right? Yeah.

58:33
Indio Skinner
Oh, I love it. I don't. I barely even have anything you just had. You hit that just, like, perfectly. I think that's like, one of the top issues we face in modern society is, like, not being able to communicate and have discussions with people who are different. I think it's literally one of the biggest problems, like, if you look at almost any, like, industry, like politics, all of that stuff, like, not being able to talk with people who have different opinions is, like, such a huge problem.

59:00
Veronika Becher
But that's the thing that I mentioned with people trying to be different, I'm not like them. But then don't see the commonalities that are still there.

59:08
Indio Skinner
Yeah.

59:08
Veronika Becher
And that's where I feel like that's the middle ground that is needed. You saying I'm a different person because I vote for one person or because I have a certain value base, because I'm have I support this religion, whatever it is, doesn't equate that you won't find certain values. That is like, you know, both people have the same values, maybe.

59:28
Indio Skinner
Oh, you hit right on. I'm get a little. Oh, my gosh. I love it. That's beautiful. Yeah, I completely agree. I think you just said you hit, like, exactly what I think, so there's not really much I can add to that. Oh, my gosh.

59:40
Veronika Becher
This, like, this episode is crazy. Would you like to leave the listeners with, like, last thought, maybe advice in life, something that you feel like you would love to share on this podcast?

59:52
Indio Skinner
I think, like, the last thing I'll mention is just like, find something kind of like that we talked about. Like, find something that you love and pursue it every day in an uncomfortable way. And, like, show the things about you that are uncomfortable to show. Whether it be, like, the things you love or the things you don't show people, the things that make you uncomfortable and go out of your way to do things that. That feel scary. Because that's like the number one way to grow, like we've talked about, is like, doing things that require you to change and doing things that scare you.

01:00:22
Veronika Becher
Thank you so much. I love that. That was so good. And thank you so much for being on the podcast. I hope the listeners enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot. That was.

01:00:32
Indio Skinner
I had a blast.

01:00:32
Veronika Becher
That was so good. It was like a good, deep talk. I love that and I love the ideas and how open you were towards all these topics and even, like, when I was coordinating with you about this episode, you were like, just ask me anything. I'm like, open for it. And I'm like, I love that. That's like the open mindedness I value in people sometimes. And it's really helpful for this episode too.

01:00:56
Indio Skinner
Thank you. Thank you so much for hosting it. It was a blast.

01:00:59
Veronika Becher
Thank you so I wish everyone a great day. And thank you so much for listening to another episode of Identity Library.

Transcribed by https://fireflies.ai/